My left hip is KILLING me today. I realised at the end of yesterday that I'd forgotten to take the Mobic. But can it REALLY lose the effect in a days time? Either that or I slept in a really bizarre position - which has been known to happen.
I'm baffled.
Thankfully the right isn't too bad, just a bit achy, but think it was from wearing high heels yesterday? Perhaps that's why the left is not happy either? Well, going to the heated PT pool tonight and we'll see how that goes.
It's also my day for the chiro/massage dr - sooooo happy about that!
Four weeks till my holiday!!! I can't wait! (I'm not counting down or anything ;-) )
24 April, 2008
23 April, 2008
7 months +
I just realised today that it has been over 7 months since surgery! Where does the time go? Oh yeah - PT visits and exercising and doctors check-ups! Well, at least my hip has been doing better in the last few weeks. It does feel a bit stronger, perhaps all the pool exercises have made a difference, but it just took longer to show? Anyway I can't complain too much. I've put a lot of stress on my hip these past couple of weeks and it's not been dreadfully angry with me.
I went to the pool yesterday. I couldn't believe the queue! I thought (or rather hoped) less people would be there because it was nice outside. My mistake! After waiting half an hour I begged the instructor who was using a whole lane to teach a guy how to swim if I could use the end he wasn't - as they were only at the top bit. He was nice and said yes, so I was able to save some time and do my legs exercises. Then when I needed to walk he had another student but was kind and let me stay in one corner so I just walked in circles for about 15 minutes. Hardly exciting but the only other choice was to bale - not really an option. I was pretty sore when I got home so I iced for a while. Not too bad after and today feels pretty good.
Still haven't heard back from the insurance company about my appeal. I'm getting a bit worried. Think I will send another email to the PT people to see if they've heard. Such fun.
I went to the pool yesterday. I couldn't believe the queue! I thought (or rather hoped) less people would be there because it was nice outside. My mistake! After waiting half an hour I begged the instructor who was using a whole lane to teach a guy how to swim if I could use the end he wasn't - as they were only at the top bit. He was nice and said yes, so I was able to save some time and do my legs exercises. Then when I needed to walk he had another student but was kind and let me stay in one corner so I just walked in circles for about 15 minutes. Hardly exciting but the only other choice was to bale - not really an option. I was pretty sore when I got home so I iced for a while. Not too bad after and today feels pretty good.
Still haven't heard back from the insurance company about my appeal. I'm getting a bit worried. Think I will send another email to the PT people to see if they've heard. Such fun.
21 April, 2008
Overdid it a bit.
I need a week to recover from this past weekend. I guess it wouldn't have been so bad if I had actually slept for the last week, but that didn't seem to be in the program. Regardless, I love doing Seder so it was all worth it. Also, it was my own fault going out on Friday night and indulging in all sorts of craziness, but that also was worth it :-)
So, Saturday night/v. early Sunday am I went to bed exhausted, but still couldn't fall asleep for ages. Then I woke up at 8.45am yesterday! I had a busy and tiring day digging through lots of boxes in my parents basement looking for binders of negatives I had. Sure enough there was one box I left out because the writing on it implied it had nothing to do with me. I decided to go back down there and dig through there - and sure enough all of my negs were there! Never fails, everything is always in the last place you look! Quite a workout though and my right shoulder is especially not happy. But again, worth it!
Yesterday I threw on a lidocaine patch on the right hip because all the standing and cooking over the weekend and cleaning all last week made it a v. unhappy camper. It definitely helped get me through the rest of the night though. Seder at my parents was fun too and didn't get home till about half eleven. I think I was overtired as I again had trouble sleeping. Will sort that out tonight with a lovely pill and praying it works so I can sleep through the night. Still taking only one 7.5mg of Mobic a day, but have had to up the dosage on my acid reflux meds as the Mobic is playing havoc with my stomach.
So, even though I pushed my body to the limits this weekend, and I'm pretty damned achy and in pain, I'm not nearly as bad w/ the hip as I'd have thought. Extremely happy about that. Perhaps not having PT to go to is helping more than doing it? I've still been doing the pool, and will have to pick up again this week what I skipped last week for sheer lack of time and energy. But tomorrow. Today is a rest day, well, other than having to be at work :-)
So, Saturday night/v. early Sunday am I went to bed exhausted, but still couldn't fall asleep for ages. Then I woke up at 8.45am yesterday! I had a busy and tiring day digging through lots of boxes in my parents basement looking for binders of negatives I had. Sure enough there was one box I left out because the writing on it implied it had nothing to do with me. I decided to go back down there and dig through there - and sure enough all of my negs were there! Never fails, everything is always in the last place you look! Quite a workout though and my right shoulder is especially not happy. But again, worth it!
Yesterday I threw on a lidocaine patch on the right hip because all the standing and cooking over the weekend and cleaning all last week made it a v. unhappy camper. It definitely helped get me through the rest of the night though. Seder at my parents was fun too and didn't get home till about half eleven. I think I was overtired as I again had trouble sleeping. Will sort that out tonight with a lovely pill and praying it works so I can sleep through the night. Still taking only one 7.5mg of Mobic a day, but have had to up the dosage on my acid reflux meds as the Mobic is playing havoc with my stomach.
So, even though I pushed my body to the limits this weekend, and I'm pretty damned achy and in pain, I'm not nearly as bad w/ the hip as I'd have thought. Extremely happy about that. Perhaps not having PT to go to is helping more than doing it? I've still been doing the pool, and will have to pick up again this week what I skipped last week for sheer lack of time and energy. But tomorrow. Today is a rest day, well, other than having to be at work :-)
20 April, 2008
Seder
I had a wonderful Seder. Family and friends, the important things. I did a ton of cooking this am, and my hip hurt a bit, but amazingly it stopped. Possibly I'm just too exhausted to notice?
Need sleep desperately, as last night was out with friends and being slightly misbehaving. Haven't done that in a while, but it was refreshing to know I still had it in me :-)
I'm hoping I can get through the night sans pain.
Need sleep desperately, as last night was out with friends and being slightly misbehaving. Haven't done that in a while, but it was refreshing to know I still had it in me :-)
I'm hoping I can get through the night sans pain.
18 April, 2008
Musings of the philosophical mind
I've been reading some interesting thoughts and wanted to share them. That and when I need to look back at them I know where they are :-)
Happy Pesach!
These are from the wisdom of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Schneerson; words and condensation by Tzvi Freeman
88. Congratulations
You cannot blame yourself, never mind persecute yourself for how you feel. But you can rejoice in the battle of controlling and sublimating those feelings.
Every small victory within yourself is a major triumph over the darkness of this world. Indeed, this is why this darkness was placed within you, in order that you may transform it into great light.
89. Consent
This is how that darkness within us finds its way out: First it agrees with everything good we do.
When we choose to meditate, it tells us, “Yes! Meditate! That way you will become a great sage!”
When we choose to do a good deed, it says,“Yes! You are so wonderful! Think what others will do in return for this!”
Slowly, slowly, it convinces us that any good we do requires its approval. And then, you’ve fallen into its trap.
Do good without reason. Then there are no traps.
93. Not the Body
Remember you are not the body. Neither are you the animal that pounds within the body, demanding its way in every thing. You are a G-dly soul.
Do not confuse the pain and struggle of the body with the joy and purity of the G-dly soul.
103. Despair
Despair is the ultimate form of self-worship --the perception that you have the capacity to truly mess up, to take the world's destiny out of its Creator's hands and sabotage His plans.
Know that the world is in a constant state of elevation, rocketing upwards towards its ultimate wholeness at every moment. Every quivering of every leaf, every subtle breeze, every slightest motion of any particle of our universe is another move in that same direction. Even those events that seem to thrust downward are in truth only a part of the ascent --like the poise of an athlete before he leaps, the contraction of a spring before its energy is released.
There is not a thing you could do halt that dynamic even for a moment. True, you must take responsibility for your deeds and work hard, very hard, to clean up your own mess. But when all the dust settles, you are exactly in the space where you were meant to be: One step closer.
123. Friendly Hardships
Hardships in life are the material world’s way of beckoning to you, “Purify me! Elevate me!” They come to you knowing you can overcome them, and thereby they will fulfill their purpose of being.
132. Not if, But How
Sometimes it may appear that there is a place where, according to all considerations, G-dliness can’t come. An obstacle that prevents you from accomplishing something beneficial. A friend who cannot be approached to help do a favor. A gathering of people that seems meaningless.
The appropriate thing to do in such a situation is to throw out all considerations and just do. Your job is not to determine if and where. Your job is to determine how. Do, and you will see miracles.
154. Subliminal Surrender
Self-surrender doesn't mean jumping off a bridge.Self surrender means surrendering the self. Putting aside the "I want," the "I need," the "I think such-and-such." Even the "I am."
Self-surrender is the subliminal drive behind all authentically good deeds. But as the world becomes more materialistic and the challenges greater, that self-surrender can no longer stay so subliminal.
165. Leaving Egypt
The biblical slavery of Egypt represents bondage to your own self.
Every day, every moment, must be an exodus from the self.
If you’re not leaving Egypt, you’re already back there.
172. Ego Dieting
Doing good is not about being nice.
You can do nice things all day long for many people, but it could be all just more service of your own self, food for your own ego.
The world was designed so people would need each other, not so you could be nice, but to give you the opportunity to escape the confines of your own self.
When you help those who show gratitude, when you lend a hand to those who are on your side, you are still within the realm of your own ego and self.
Help someone you don't want to help. Help him and learn to want to help him --only because this is the right thing to do.
At first, it may not feel so rewarding. But you have sprung free.
174. Free Love
There are people who believe they are doing good by swallowing other's egos alive. The egos of those they cannot help, and of those who cannot help them, are inedible to them --and therefore intolerable. They cannot work with others --because their egos leave no space for "others"--only for those extensions of their own inflated selves that show they need them, or for those whom they need.
You don't love your neighbor to glorify your own ego. When you come to your sister or brother's aid, leave your own self behind. Love with self-sacrifice.
182. Small & Infinite
Make yourself small and you will be great.
Know you are nothing and you will be infinite.
At the very least, don't make such a big deal of yourself and you will be all that much closer to the truth.
185. Fools
To fool the world is one thing,but to fool yourself is no big deal.
You’re a fool for wanting to fool yourself--and anyone can fool a fool.
(from the sayings of Rabbi Shmuel of Lubavitch)
241. Humble Compassion
There is compassion that feeds the ego and there is compassion that humbles it.
Compassion that feeds the ego is a sense of pity for those who stand beneath you.
Compassion that humbles is born of a deeper understanding of the order of things:
When you understand that your fellow man is suffering in order that you may be privileged to help him--then you are truly humbled.
Happy Pesach!
These are from the wisdom of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Schneerson; words and condensation by Tzvi Freeman
88. Congratulations
You cannot blame yourself, never mind persecute yourself for how you feel. But you can rejoice in the battle of controlling and sublimating those feelings.
Every small victory within yourself is a major triumph over the darkness of this world. Indeed, this is why this darkness was placed within you, in order that you may transform it into great light.
89. Consent
This is how that darkness within us finds its way out: First it agrees with everything good we do.
When we choose to meditate, it tells us, “Yes! Meditate! That way you will become a great sage!”
When we choose to do a good deed, it says,“Yes! You are so wonderful! Think what others will do in return for this!”
Slowly, slowly, it convinces us that any good we do requires its approval. And then, you’ve fallen into its trap.
Do good without reason. Then there are no traps.
93. Not the Body
Remember you are not the body. Neither are you the animal that pounds within the body, demanding its way in every thing. You are a G-dly soul.
Do not confuse the pain and struggle of the body with the joy and purity of the G-dly soul.
103. Despair
Despair is the ultimate form of self-worship --the perception that you have the capacity to truly mess up, to take the world's destiny out of its Creator's hands and sabotage His plans.
Know that the world is in a constant state of elevation, rocketing upwards towards its ultimate wholeness at every moment. Every quivering of every leaf, every subtle breeze, every slightest motion of any particle of our universe is another move in that same direction. Even those events that seem to thrust downward are in truth only a part of the ascent --like the poise of an athlete before he leaps, the contraction of a spring before its energy is released.
There is not a thing you could do halt that dynamic even for a moment. True, you must take responsibility for your deeds and work hard, very hard, to clean up your own mess. But when all the dust settles, you are exactly in the space where you were meant to be: One step closer.
123. Friendly Hardships
Hardships in life are the material world’s way of beckoning to you, “Purify me! Elevate me!” They come to you knowing you can overcome them, and thereby they will fulfill their purpose of being.
132. Not if, But How
Sometimes it may appear that there is a place where, according to all considerations, G-dliness can’t come. An obstacle that prevents you from accomplishing something beneficial. A friend who cannot be approached to help do a favor. A gathering of people that seems meaningless.
The appropriate thing to do in such a situation is to throw out all considerations and just do. Your job is not to determine if and where. Your job is to determine how. Do, and you will see miracles.
154. Subliminal Surrender
Self-surrender doesn't mean jumping off a bridge.Self surrender means surrendering the self. Putting aside the "I want," the "I need," the "I think such-and-such." Even the "I am."
Self-surrender is the subliminal drive behind all authentically good deeds. But as the world becomes more materialistic and the challenges greater, that self-surrender can no longer stay so subliminal.
165. Leaving Egypt
The biblical slavery of Egypt represents bondage to your own self.
Every day, every moment, must be an exodus from the self.
If you’re not leaving Egypt, you’re already back there.
172. Ego Dieting
Doing good is not about being nice.
You can do nice things all day long for many people, but it could be all just more service of your own self, food for your own ego.
The world was designed so people would need each other, not so you could be nice, but to give you the opportunity to escape the confines of your own self.
When you help those who show gratitude, when you lend a hand to those who are on your side, you are still within the realm of your own ego and self.
Help someone you don't want to help. Help him and learn to want to help him --only because this is the right thing to do.
At first, it may not feel so rewarding. But you have sprung free.
174. Free Love
There are people who believe they are doing good by swallowing other's egos alive. The egos of those they cannot help, and of those who cannot help them, are inedible to them --and therefore intolerable. They cannot work with others --because their egos leave no space for "others"--only for those extensions of their own inflated selves that show they need them, or for those whom they need.
You don't love your neighbor to glorify your own ego. When you come to your sister or brother's aid, leave your own self behind. Love with self-sacrifice.
182. Small & Infinite
Make yourself small and you will be great.
Know you are nothing and you will be infinite.
At the very least, don't make such a big deal of yourself and you will be all that much closer to the truth.
185. Fools
To fool the world is one thing,but to fool yourself is no big deal.
You’re a fool for wanting to fool yourself--and anyone can fool a fool.
(from the sayings of Rabbi Shmuel of Lubavitch)
241. Humble Compassion
There is compassion that feeds the ego and there is compassion that humbles it.
Compassion that feeds the ego is a sense of pity for those who stand beneath you.
Compassion that humbles is born of a deeper understanding of the order of things:
When you understand that your fellow man is suffering in order that you may be privileged to help him--then you are truly humbled.
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