25 June, 2009

Humpty Dumpty strikes again

ARGH! I just want to scream! Or jump off a roof, or in front of moving bus, but there's that daft thing in my head called a conscience that won't let me. I CAN NOT TAKE THE PAIN ANYMORE.
Tomorrow will be FIVE WEEKS of agony with this neck thing. And it's bad. I can handle "normal" pain, after all I've been through I definitely have a very high tolerance, G-d knows, but this is slowly driving me delirious.

I am sad to report that the shoulder cortisone injection and the trigger point injection did absolutely NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING. I emailed Dr. Panagos on Monday and didn't hear back, he's busy I get it but I'm being a selfish person for once and need help. Tuesday I rang his office, and his assistant said he was on the phone but would ring me back directly. Unfortunately he didn't get to until Wednesday am. He did leave a message apologising and I rang him back as soon as I received it. He asked me a bunch of questions and agreed that something needs to be done. I have no life, I get to work, by about 16.00 I'm dying in agony, then I go home directly after work and lay on the couch until bedtime, and in the middle drink wine and take klonopin hoping it will help me sleep. I still can't even lie flat on my back. Anyway I digress. Dr. P said he had put a call into Cornell for a consult as he wants me to have the spinal epidural in a hospital setting. I'm ok with waiting an extra day or two so it's done correctly but I need to know that it's going to be done soon. He said he'd ring me back and I told him I'd be in the office until 16.00 and then had a hand dr appointment and he could ring me on my mobile. Sadly I did not hear from him at all. I ended up sending him an email around 20.30 asking if he had "any news at all???". My mother laughed at that. Hey, I'm desperate. I did ring his office about 20 minutes ago and spoke to his assistant. She said he was doing a procedure and would get to him as soon as possible. I said even if he just has a message and she rings me back, I just need to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel because I'm in misery. I did apologise for being completely brain dead as all this pain has made my brain turn to mush, even more than normal!

On another note, I saw Dr. Melone yesterday. I've been putting off this appointment because last year he said if the cortisone injection didn't work I'd have to have surgery. After my trip to London though and only using my big camera for 3 days, then suffering for a week after, I had to sort something out. At least the surgery is much more minor that the last 4, and the recovery seems to be quicker. I will have a splint on but will be able to use my fingers and go back to work in a day or so. I need to find out how long it will take for my hand to be in "working order" as well as if I will need PT after. Both from a time and health insurance perspective, since they only give you a very limited number of PT visits TOTAL per year. That might work for regular people but not the special ones! I also can't schedule it till I have this back thing sorted out. I can't believe I have to have another hand surgery. It didn't really sink in until today.

Anyway that is where I am at the moment. At least I have a gorgeous new niece and brilliant nephew to divert me on occasion.