29 May, 2008

It's like a never-ending bad joke

And I'm not even talking about all of my joint issues!

Today, after a night of no sleep from a sore throat, I was sitting at work and realised my bum was hurting. It felt like it did before I had the abscess diagnosed/drained. This totally freaked me out. I investigated and lets just say I found something that was wrong. I immediately rang the doctor at NY Pres that did my wound check, but they first said they couldn't see me till the 5th, and then said someone would get back to me. I was not v. trusting after my first experience there so decided to ring my regular doctor who is just a few blocks away from my office. The best thing about having the same doctor for a million years is you know the staff and they take care of you. Her amazing assistant A. got me in withing an hour! That was impressive! So, she looked and said yep, something is definitely wrong and that I needed to see another specialist. I told her about the NY Pres doctor and that (I had found out after a call from one of the nurses there) she was going away. Dr. Rosen said there was someone in her building she referred to and rang down to see if he could see me. Amazingly, he could, and did so v. promptly. I was v. impressed with him and his staff. He's v. direct and to the point and laid it all out for me, which is what I need. Between crying I got the gist of it all, and it is not pretty, in any conceivable way! Basically I need to have surgery again, but he wants to wait at least two weeks so the area can calm down and heal a a bit, and he's put me on antibiotics for the interim. There are many case scenarios and I don't want /can't even begin to think about right now. I'm just praying very hard. He said the wound will be bigger than last time and takes about two to three months to heal. Well, I guess the upside is he said it would be okay for me to go swimming whilst it was healing. Silver lining somewhere I guess!

27 May, 2008

Recap & 36 Week Post-op

So the test run in Tampa went fairly well. My right hip was pretty amazing, especially since I have not been in the pool for two weeks! Unfortunately my left hip has really been hurting the last couple of days. I do not even want to consider what we may need to do at this point. I mentally can not handle the idea of another surgery, at least not presently.

So, we did a lot of walking around mixed with driving every day. I think the most walking I did though was on Thursday. I am definitely happy that the right hip did so well. I was also shooting with my Hasselblad so was bending over and kneeling more than I have in a long time. I was a bit sore but nothing too bad. It helped that I iced it after the long walk on Thursday.

My wrists were a different story. My left was hurting from using the H and my right, well, it just doesn't like me anymore and constantly likes to hurt me. Another surgery I'm not ready to contemplate, so we will pretend it's all fine. Jeepers, I feel like Humpty Dumpty!

There was a message on my VM at work from Friday from someone at the Clinical Appeals Department at Oxford. I rang her back but she wasn't there. Can't wait to hear what she says. I guess they received my letter from last week!

It's good to be home though. Florida is nice, but for a visit. I could never live there. I am definitely a city girl!

PS-I've added some photos from the trip on my Flickr site :-)

23 May, 2008

Achy

It ended up raining last night. We kept changing our mind to go on the ghost walk, and eventually decided to do so. That was a mistake. Even though we booked and gave them our info, when we arrived at the hotel for the start, no one was there. We rang them and they said they thought we meant for tomorrow night - buggers! Anyway, it really started to rain then so it probably worked out for the best.

My left wrist was killing me last night - it hurt so much that I wrapped it up in a lidocaine patch. I think it was from holding my Hasselblad. I will try to be more careful today. The sun has come out for the time being and I'm just waiting for my friend to get back so we can go to Ybor City. It's meant to rain later in the afternoon - not looking forward to that. I also put a lido patch on my right hip last night before we left. Today we have a twist though because the left one is unhappy. Oh well, if it still hurts when we're leaving I'll toss on a patch there! Shame I didn't bring more!

Other than all the achy bits, I'm having a great time.

22 May, 2008

Rain

It seems that no matter where I go, the rain follows. At least lately! So, what can be said for Tampa other that it's rainy and close? Oh yes, the sewage reeks! I mean, stinks to high hell! But other than that I had a lovely walk this morning. Wish I had my pedometer so I can see how far I went without my hip flipping out. It was a good test. I did some shooting along the way, so working out my eyes as well as my hip :-) I miss playing with my Hasselblad! It felt great to have it in my hands again.

I am keeping this brief because:
1) it's 12.30 and I still haven't eaten anything so should feed
2)I am thinking I should really ice my hip - just in case!

:-)

21 May, 2008

Break time!

At least I'm hoping it is. I so need to be able to just relax and not have any nutty things go on for a bit. My hip is not agreeing with this thought though and has decided to become quite achy the last few days, even with my taking the Mobic. Hopefully it cheers up soon and the weather (touch wood) will be brill on my trip. My wrist is in cahoots with my hip, so I did bring my splint to wear at night again and I am hoping that will teach it to behave! I won't mention my right shoulder, it's decided for an encore! But I have brought my arsenal of drugs. I've left them in their prescription containers just in case security things I'm a drug dealer!
Leaving the office in about an hour and cannot wait.
Yay!

PS - I sent in my letters of appeal to the state and Oxford, registered mail. Please pray they work and I get more PT!!!!!!!

19 May, 2008

I don't like Mondays...

but then again, who does? I had a pretty bad night - couldn't fall asleep for hours. I guess even a one hour nap messed it up for me. But I needed that nap!
Here's the update:
Friday I went to the dr's office at NY Pres, and I arrived a bit early. I was told that they had NO record of my appointment, but they could fit me in. That turned into two hours later so that I didn't even have a chance of coming back to work. Stressful. The good news was that the incision is healing and no more abscess it seems. Bad news is I can't go swimming until it is completely closed, which takes normal people about two weeks, so we can safely add on at least one more week to that for me. I'm upset about this because I'm going to Florida this week for a holiday, but most importantly, I can't do my PT!!! And my right hip is so not happy about that. Besides the fact I've been leaning way too much on the right with all this going on, I can't even do any at home PT because of pain/discomfort. Yesterday I iced my right hip for over an hour till it was quiet. I can't wait for the wound to heal so I can get back to work.
I have to ring the NYS people about this external appeal because their paperwork is so confusing. Hopefully I will be able to get it out before I leave on Wednesday so I don't have to think about it.
I haven't worn my splint in over a week, and I'm sure I'll pay for that. The hand is already not too happy but seriously, I need a break from some of this stuff. It's mentally exhausting me.
I will just be focusing on my trip for the next couple of days and, G-d willing, it will all go smoothly! Otherwise I might be writing these updates from an asylum :-)
Happy Monday!

15 May, 2008

I

came to work today.
It's official. I am a masochist.
Painkillers not working.
WTF am I doing here?
Going to the chiro in a bit so at least I can give my bum a break from sitting!
HELP!

PS - mailing all the letters I wrote to that idiotic place and their doctors, and also to the NYS medical board/Dept of Health. Doubt it will do anything but I don't care, made me feel better just to write them!

14 May, 2008

Surrealism

That is how my life has felt these last few days.

Friday I did end up at a doctors office, unfortunately one I didn't know. They completely misdiagnosed me, so to make a v. long story short, I ended up in the ER on Saturday and had to have the first of two emergency surgeries. I was able to leave Sunday evening. Thankfully I'm starting to feel a bit better today, but it was one of the most painful things, if not THE most, that I've been through, and even with all the morphine and local anesthetic, I felt everything. I had an abscess that had to be removed from, lets just say, a v. sensitive area. I've been out of work, but hopefully will return tomorrow. I was left with an open wound that will heal itself, but I have to clean it out with water 4 times a day and keep it covered with a dressing as it is still oozing away. Yes, lovely visual.

I will say that one should never ever go to Yaffe Ruden and Associates on the UES in NYC. They are beyond incompetent there, and if they had diagnosed me correctly I would have avoided a lot of pain and suffering.
I guess the good things are since I was in so much pain with this, it camouflaged all other issues, well mostly, for the last few days. And I seemed to lose some weight. Must have been all that screaming when I was getting cut up with knives and needles. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

As for my poor hip, I am not allowed to go to the pool until I see the doctor on Friday and she checks my wound. So until then my body is having a break. I'm not happy about it. I also have to still write a response for the second appeal to my insurance company when I get back to the office.
I really am so done with the medical community I could scream! Oh wait, I've been doing that daily lately anyway! :-)

09 May, 2008

Oxford sucks!

I received a letter from them when I got home on Wednesday night. They denied my appeal, so now I have to appeal that with the state. I'm so frustrated! I really don't get how they can make a judgement on criteria that was last examined in March! Things have definitely changed since I've been on the Mobic. I hate to admit it but I guess sometimes rat poison does do some good. I really don't want to take this for an over-extended period though. It's destroying my stomach.

Between that, this weather and some new medical mystery that has appeared I'm feeling pretty crappy physically. In all other respects though I'm good. I've been enjoying myself immensely lately. Last night I went to an gallery opening for Christopher Orr. His painting were very interesting. On my way out the lift operator said there was a huge opening in the main gallery so he dropped my off by the back entrance so I could go in without any hassle. :-) The art was not really to my taste, but it was nice they had food out as I was feeling a bit peckish. I also happened to meet a guy who owns a gallery and we got to talking about things so I will definitely keep him as a contact. Afterwards I went to a brill restaurant, Pipa, down by Union Square. I highly recommend it, food was delish and the sangria was pretty good too. After we went to Union Bar and just vegged on the couch. The music was nutty, one minute they'd have cool stuff on, then horrible rap thrown in - the dj was schizophrenic - but it was fun. I did miss the pool yesterday but will hopefully be able to go tomorrow, assuming all works out at the doctors today. I had to hunt down a doctor that could see me as my internist is out till Monday, so fun fun, an appointment at 2. Hopefully they'll suss out what is wrong. Like I said the other day, if it isn't one thing... Then again, I can't say my life is dull. Ha ha!

07 May, 2008

if it's not one thing...

well, it's actually many. I've changed the quote.

Saturday I was feeling okay, weather was a bit hit or miss, and I took it easy. I had decided I would go to the pool on Sunday as it seems slightly less insane than on Saturdays. I also had plans to go out with some friends to Uncle Nicks - a must - for the flaming cheese! It was great! We ordered a bunch of starters and some wine and watched lots of flaming cheese! After we went next door to a bar that makes pretty damn strong drinks. This is a dangerous thing, but a fun one too! I'll just leave it at that. It was a great distraction from my pain though, as I barely knew what was bothering me! Gotta love that!

Sunday I went to the pool and had a good workout, pushed it a bit. After some lunch I went to sit in Central Park for a while, it was so beautiful out. My favourite weather, not too hot, not too cool - just right! I was feeling pretty good but still took the bus from my flat to the park, but I did end up walking home. I've been a bit sore since (yes even remembering to take my Mobic) so think I might have overdone it a bit. But still, I feel like I have to make some progress and not just do the same things all the time.

Monday was a pretty good day, weather lovely and I was even able to stand for a bit when I met my friend Stan out for drinks. I was still v. happy when the girl next to me finally left so I could nick her bar stool. :-) Yesterday did the pool again and hips were definitely not happy after, so I made sure to ice them both when I got home. I have to say that my back is still tight and my neck feels like there's a pinched nerve in there. I am thinking it's related to the arm exercises I've been doing in the pool. Tomorrow at my massage/chiro I will ask him to address that area.

Don't even get me started on my hand/wrist. It was hurting so much last night I put a lido patch on under my splint. Thankfully that worked so I didn't have the pain all night, but now it's back to hurting, plus I'm having shooting pains up and down the arm. Such fun. Have I mentioned how much I DO NOT want to have another hand surgery?

Anyway, for the most part, I've been good. I've slept well the last two nights (with assistance) but who cares, it feels great to sleep through the night! And I am off on holiday in two weeks so all is good!


02 May, 2008

chronic pain = temporary insanity

At least that's what I've been noticing more and more. When I have a flare-up, it's like the rational and "normal" part of my brain disappears and I become a pathetic, depressed, needy person that is so not me regularly. I don't know what to do anymore so that it doesn't happen. It just seems when I'm physically weakened, like I have been this week, I lose all self-confidence and respect and just go off the deep-end.

I am sure I'm not the only one that has these issues, unfortunately there are plenty of people with chronic conditions. I just wish that I could find a way so that my physical deterioration wouldn't affect my mental so much. But just another thing I have to learn to live with, and control.

As Nadum Ish Gamzu said: "Gam zu l'tovah" - "This is also for the good".
I don't claim to understand how, but in Hashem's infinite wisdom there is a reason for me to have to learn this. I will endeavor to be open and do my best.

On another note, yesterday I had the most amazing massage! S did it and he really worked my whole back, which is so tight now that I've added arm exercises in the pool. Wish I was going again today as I'm tight again after last night when I went to the pool. I had it mostly to myself, which is the best, so relaxing and a great place to meditate. I did quite a bit as I was feeling better, but then last night it started to rain again and now I feel crap all over again. It's my cycle to live with. So glad it's Friday and that I have plans to spend this weekend with a good friend. Just what the doctor ordered! Well, at least what I ordered! :-)

I finally heard back from the PT and they said that Oxford did receive the appeal, and it would be good if I rang, so I just did so. They received it on the 18th and said it's still in review, and that is a good thing (touch wood it is). I really need some more PT for my leg, at the very least for a bit to see if it's actually strengthened and to see if/what I can add to my routine. So fingers crossed!

01 May, 2008

getting better every day

Well, for now that is. Monday was bad, but Tuesday was a nightmare. I barely slept, and then could barely move in the morning when I was meant to get up. I had to take a sick day and even order food in. I hate days like that. Jumping out of a window was looking better every moment. Between my lack of sleep and the weather it was the worst I've felt in a v. long time.

It's funny, my friend Jodi said on Sunday when we were out that I'm like the energizer bunny - I just keep going. I certainly don't think of myself that way, and definitely don't feel like it this week. Still, I guess I am happy that it seems like that to others. I'm not a particular fan of whinging.

Yesterday morning I was up v. early as I still was having trouble sleeping, so I went to the PT pool before work. That was a great thing and I was sorry I had to leave it and go to the office. The water is over 90' and just feels so good. By yesterday afternoon I started to feel somewhat human again. I did a little walking for errands after work but there was no way I'd have made it all the way home, so hopped on a bus at 60th Street. My right hip is still a bit wonky this week.

Today I had my massage and that was wonderful. I wish I could have that every day. I am going to the pool after work, the nice, hot pool. Looking forward to that. And then meeting up for a bevvy afterwards. I am really hoping those weather people are wrong with there upcoming forecast as I'm just starting to feel okay again.

The only thing I heard back from the PT people were that they were going to follow up, but still haven't heard a thing back. Will bug them again now methinks.