I had a wonderful Seder. Family and friends, the important things. I did a ton of cooking this am, and my hip hurt a bit, but amazingly it stopped. Possibly I'm just too exhausted to notice?
Need sleep desperately, as last night was out with friends and being slightly misbehaving. Haven't done that in a while, but it was refreshing to know I still had it in me :-)
I'm hoping I can get through the night sans pain.
20 April, 2008
18 April, 2008
Musings of the philosophical mind
I've been reading some interesting thoughts and wanted to share them. That and when I need to look back at them I know where they are :-)
Happy Pesach!
These are from the wisdom of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Schneerson; words and condensation by Tzvi Freeman
88. Congratulations
You cannot blame yourself, never mind persecute yourself for how you feel. But you can rejoice in the battle of controlling and sublimating those feelings.
Every small victory within yourself is a major triumph over the darkness of this world. Indeed, this is why this darkness was placed within you, in order that you may transform it into great light.
89. Consent
This is how that darkness within us finds its way out: First it agrees with everything good we do.
When we choose to meditate, it tells us, “Yes! Meditate! That way you will become a great sage!”
When we choose to do a good deed, it says,“Yes! You are so wonderful! Think what others will do in return for this!”
Slowly, slowly, it convinces us that any good we do requires its approval. And then, you’ve fallen into its trap.
Do good without reason. Then there are no traps.
93. Not the Body
Remember you are not the body. Neither are you the animal that pounds within the body, demanding its way in every thing. You are a G-dly soul.
Do not confuse the pain and struggle of the body with the joy and purity of the G-dly soul.
103. Despair
Despair is the ultimate form of self-worship --the perception that you have the capacity to truly mess up, to take the world's destiny out of its Creator's hands and sabotage His plans.
Know that the world is in a constant state of elevation, rocketing upwards towards its ultimate wholeness at every moment. Every quivering of every leaf, every subtle breeze, every slightest motion of any particle of our universe is another move in that same direction. Even those events that seem to thrust downward are in truth only a part of the ascent --like the poise of an athlete before he leaps, the contraction of a spring before its energy is released.
There is not a thing you could do halt that dynamic even for a moment. True, you must take responsibility for your deeds and work hard, very hard, to clean up your own mess. But when all the dust settles, you are exactly in the space where you were meant to be: One step closer.
123. Friendly Hardships
Hardships in life are the material world’s way of beckoning to you, “Purify me! Elevate me!” They come to you knowing you can overcome them, and thereby they will fulfill their purpose of being.
132. Not if, But How
Sometimes it may appear that there is a place where, according to all considerations, G-dliness can’t come. An obstacle that prevents you from accomplishing something beneficial. A friend who cannot be approached to help do a favor. A gathering of people that seems meaningless.
The appropriate thing to do in such a situation is to throw out all considerations and just do. Your job is not to determine if and where. Your job is to determine how. Do, and you will see miracles.
154. Subliminal Surrender
Self-surrender doesn't mean jumping off a bridge.Self surrender means surrendering the self. Putting aside the "I want," the "I need," the "I think such-and-such." Even the "I am."
Self-surrender is the subliminal drive behind all authentically good deeds. But as the world becomes more materialistic and the challenges greater, that self-surrender can no longer stay so subliminal.
165. Leaving Egypt
The biblical slavery of Egypt represents bondage to your own self.
Every day, every moment, must be an exodus from the self.
If you’re not leaving Egypt, you’re already back there.
172. Ego Dieting
Doing good is not about being nice.
You can do nice things all day long for many people, but it could be all just more service of your own self, food for your own ego.
The world was designed so people would need each other, not so you could be nice, but to give you the opportunity to escape the confines of your own self.
When you help those who show gratitude, when you lend a hand to those who are on your side, you are still within the realm of your own ego and self.
Help someone you don't want to help. Help him and learn to want to help him --only because this is the right thing to do.
At first, it may not feel so rewarding. But you have sprung free.
174. Free Love
There are people who believe they are doing good by swallowing other's egos alive. The egos of those they cannot help, and of those who cannot help them, are inedible to them --and therefore intolerable. They cannot work with others --because their egos leave no space for "others"--only for those extensions of their own inflated selves that show they need them, or for those whom they need.
You don't love your neighbor to glorify your own ego. When you come to your sister or brother's aid, leave your own self behind. Love with self-sacrifice.
182. Small & Infinite
Make yourself small and you will be great.
Know you are nothing and you will be infinite.
At the very least, don't make such a big deal of yourself and you will be all that much closer to the truth.
185. Fools
To fool the world is one thing,but to fool yourself is no big deal.
You’re a fool for wanting to fool yourself--and anyone can fool a fool.
(from the sayings of Rabbi Shmuel of Lubavitch)
241. Humble Compassion
There is compassion that feeds the ego and there is compassion that humbles it.
Compassion that feeds the ego is a sense of pity for those who stand beneath you.
Compassion that humbles is born of a deeper understanding of the order of things:
When you understand that your fellow man is suffering in order that you may be privileged to help him--then you are truly humbled.
Happy Pesach!
These are from the wisdom of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Schneerson; words and condensation by Tzvi Freeman
88. Congratulations
You cannot blame yourself, never mind persecute yourself for how you feel. But you can rejoice in the battle of controlling and sublimating those feelings.
Every small victory within yourself is a major triumph over the darkness of this world. Indeed, this is why this darkness was placed within you, in order that you may transform it into great light.
89. Consent
This is how that darkness within us finds its way out: First it agrees with everything good we do.
When we choose to meditate, it tells us, “Yes! Meditate! That way you will become a great sage!”
When we choose to do a good deed, it says,“Yes! You are so wonderful! Think what others will do in return for this!”
Slowly, slowly, it convinces us that any good we do requires its approval. And then, you’ve fallen into its trap.
Do good without reason. Then there are no traps.
93. Not the Body
Remember you are not the body. Neither are you the animal that pounds within the body, demanding its way in every thing. You are a G-dly soul.
Do not confuse the pain and struggle of the body with the joy and purity of the G-dly soul.
103. Despair
Despair is the ultimate form of self-worship --the perception that you have the capacity to truly mess up, to take the world's destiny out of its Creator's hands and sabotage His plans.
Know that the world is in a constant state of elevation, rocketing upwards towards its ultimate wholeness at every moment. Every quivering of every leaf, every subtle breeze, every slightest motion of any particle of our universe is another move in that same direction. Even those events that seem to thrust downward are in truth only a part of the ascent --like the poise of an athlete before he leaps, the contraction of a spring before its energy is released.
There is not a thing you could do halt that dynamic even for a moment. True, you must take responsibility for your deeds and work hard, very hard, to clean up your own mess. But when all the dust settles, you are exactly in the space where you were meant to be: One step closer.
123. Friendly Hardships
Hardships in life are the material world’s way of beckoning to you, “Purify me! Elevate me!” They come to you knowing you can overcome them, and thereby they will fulfill their purpose of being.
132. Not if, But How
Sometimes it may appear that there is a place where, according to all considerations, G-dliness can’t come. An obstacle that prevents you from accomplishing something beneficial. A friend who cannot be approached to help do a favor. A gathering of people that seems meaningless.
The appropriate thing to do in such a situation is to throw out all considerations and just do. Your job is not to determine if and where. Your job is to determine how. Do, and you will see miracles.
154. Subliminal Surrender
Self-surrender doesn't mean jumping off a bridge.Self surrender means surrendering the self. Putting aside the "I want," the "I need," the "I think such-and-such." Even the "I am."
Self-surrender is the subliminal drive behind all authentically good deeds. But as the world becomes more materialistic and the challenges greater, that self-surrender can no longer stay so subliminal.
165. Leaving Egypt
The biblical slavery of Egypt represents bondage to your own self.
Every day, every moment, must be an exodus from the self.
If you’re not leaving Egypt, you’re already back there.
172. Ego Dieting
Doing good is not about being nice.
You can do nice things all day long for many people, but it could be all just more service of your own self, food for your own ego.
The world was designed so people would need each other, not so you could be nice, but to give you the opportunity to escape the confines of your own self.
When you help those who show gratitude, when you lend a hand to those who are on your side, you are still within the realm of your own ego and self.
Help someone you don't want to help. Help him and learn to want to help him --only because this is the right thing to do.
At first, it may not feel so rewarding. But you have sprung free.
174. Free Love
There are people who believe they are doing good by swallowing other's egos alive. The egos of those they cannot help, and of those who cannot help them, are inedible to them --and therefore intolerable. They cannot work with others --because their egos leave no space for "others"--only for those extensions of their own inflated selves that show they need them, or for those whom they need.
You don't love your neighbor to glorify your own ego. When you come to your sister or brother's aid, leave your own self behind. Love with self-sacrifice.
182. Small & Infinite
Make yourself small and you will be great.
Know you are nothing and you will be infinite.
At the very least, don't make such a big deal of yourself and you will be all that much closer to the truth.
185. Fools
To fool the world is one thing,but to fool yourself is no big deal.
You’re a fool for wanting to fool yourself--and anyone can fool a fool.
(from the sayings of Rabbi Shmuel of Lubavitch)
241. Humble Compassion
There is compassion that feeds the ego and there is compassion that humbles it.
Compassion that feeds the ego is a sense of pity for those who stand beneath you.
Compassion that humbles is born of a deeper understanding of the order of things:
When you understand that your fellow man is suffering in order that you may be privileged to help him--then you are truly humbled.
16 April, 2008
It's just like Lynette (DH) said...
"because I've had a rough few months...I don't understand, and I need to".
So true. But at the same time, one has to give up the idea and realise there isn't always an answer.
Meanwhile...I walked home again today and no pain!!! At least so far!
And I booked my holiday. It's so needed and I'm so excited. I have realised that whilst I don't have certain things that I would like in my life, I have a lot, and for that I am very grateful.
"Faith is a belief in something that cannot be proven. We all want to believe in those that we are closest to. But where there is doubt, our faith begins to vanish and fear rushes in to take its place."
Truer words could not be spoken.
But being as though I am constantly working to be a better and more understanding and forgiving person, and accept that all things happen for a reason, which may not be explained or understood now, I take this prayer to heart and repeat it:
"Master of the Universe, I hereby forgive anyone who angered or antagonized me or who sinned against me; whether against my body, my property, my honour or against anything of mine; whether he/she did so accidentally, willfully, carelessly or purposely...may no one be punished because of me. May it be Your will my G-d and the G-d of my forefathers that I never again anger you, that I shall not do what is evil in your eyes. Whatever sins I have done before You, may You blot out in Your abundant mercies".
Amen
I have kept that prayer next to my bedside for many years, and occasionally forget to read it. It has a great affect on me though when I do.
So that's about it for me now. I've ordered all my food which will be delivered tomorrow, and even though I'm making Seder on Saturday, chose to meet a friend out on Friday, because really, friends and family are the most important things, and how often do you really get to spend time with those you care about.
I wish you all a happy Pesach.
Pesach |
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| Pesach, or Passover, is a major holiday in Jewish tradition, and is one of the three pilgrimage holidays, along with Sukkot and Shavuot. These are the holidays on which the whole Jewish people would come to
Another name for Pesach is the holiday of Unleavened Bread. The story of the exodus from
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14 April, 2008
I made it
but damn my groin on the right side is KILLING me. Been icing for over 20 mins and it still hurts!
Guess I finally pushed it too far.
UPDATE: 4 hours later and hip is wanting lidocaine. Uh oh.
Guess I finally pushed it too far.
UPDATE: 4 hours later and hip is wanting lidocaine. Uh oh.
Busy me
and happy about it. The past few days I've definitely been pushing myself. Well, pushing myself in the terms of my particular body.
Friday I went to the gym at lunch. I did about 20 minutes on the bike and then 30 leg presses. I felt pretty good with that. After work I stopped at the bookshop to see if they had a good book on CSS. There is actually a limit to the information you can find on the Internet! Who knew??? Anyway, of course the section I needed was on the bottom, so I was squatting for a long time. Well it seemed like a long time when your right hip doesn't like to be in that position. But I muddled through, and did find a good book. At least that's what the checkout dude implied when he said it was the book he is using as a textbook for class. So far it does seem pretty good though. Hopefully it will help me with the one area I can't seem to suss out. Anyway, afterwards I think I iced for a bit and then decided it was time to clean the pantry. That took a while, but it was so needed. I disposed of many things I didn't even realise I had buried in there. Every year right before Pesach I do a mass cleaning of the pantry and kitchen. I decided my hip had been through enough in one day and would start on the kitchen the next morning.
Accordingly my body woke me up early, I guess it was very motivated! I cleaned that kitchen for over 2 hours and still wasn't done. If you saw the size of my kitchen you wouldn't believe me! I had to take a break to ice my various body parts. Then it was back to work. It definitely was my workout for the day. Afterwards I dusted the whole flat as well. I just have to do the bathroom. Been putting that off because it will be a whole night ordeal. Being a Virgo when I get started on something it has to be very thorough. It has its good and bad quirks to it. Saturday night my ice and I relaxed and took it easy. We deserved it! Though my body for some reason thought otherwise and didn't let me have a proper sleep!
Sunday I just was too sore to start doing the bathroom, so decided to start reading my new HTML/CSS book. I read through a few chapters, then decided to go to the pool. It was heaven at first as no one else was in the pool for the first half of my workout. No splashing, loud noises, nothing. Pure heaven and so relaxing. I was trying to push it a bit with the walking. It's hard to walk fast in the water but I tried more than usual. I wanted to see how much I could push the hips. After I was a bit sore, but went home and iced like a good girl. Was still achy but the weather was also a bit crap so that wasn't helping.
So that leaves today. I didn't go to the gym as I thought I should take it easy, however that decision didn't last too long as now I've decided I should try to walk home and see how it goes. I still have to figure out part of the menu for Saturday, and order the groceries, but think the walk should be good.
Friday I went to the gym at lunch. I did about 20 minutes on the bike and then 30 leg presses. I felt pretty good with that. After work I stopped at the bookshop to see if they had a good book on CSS. There is actually a limit to the information you can find on the Internet! Who knew??? Anyway, of course the section I needed was on the bottom, so I was squatting for a long time. Well it seemed like a long time when your right hip doesn't like to be in that position. But I muddled through, and did find a good book. At least that's what the checkout dude implied when he said it was the book he is using as a textbook for class. So far it does seem pretty good though. Hopefully it will help me with the one area I can't seem to suss out. Anyway, afterwards I think I iced for a bit and then decided it was time to clean the pantry. That took a while, but it was so needed. I disposed of many things I didn't even realise I had buried in there. Every year right before Pesach I do a mass cleaning of the pantry and kitchen. I decided my hip had been through enough in one day and would start on the kitchen the next morning.
Accordingly my body woke me up early, I guess it was very motivated! I cleaned that kitchen for over 2 hours and still wasn't done. If you saw the size of my kitchen you wouldn't believe me! I had to take a break to ice my various body parts. Then it was back to work. It definitely was my workout for the day. Afterwards I dusted the whole flat as well. I just have to do the bathroom. Been putting that off because it will be a whole night ordeal. Being a Virgo when I get started on something it has to be very thorough. It has its good and bad quirks to it. Saturday night my ice and I relaxed and took it easy. We deserved it! Though my body for some reason thought otherwise and didn't let me have a proper sleep!
Sunday I just was too sore to start doing the bathroom, so decided to start reading my new HTML/CSS book. I read through a few chapters, then decided to go to the pool. It was heaven at first as no one else was in the pool for the first half of my workout. No splashing, loud noises, nothing. Pure heaven and so relaxing. I was trying to push it a bit with the walking. It's hard to walk fast in the water but I tried more than usual. I wanted to see how much I could push the hips. After I was a bit sore, but went home and iced like a good girl. Was still achy but the weather was also a bit crap so that wasn't helping.
So that leaves today. I didn't go to the gym as I thought I should take it easy, however that decision didn't last too long as now I've decided I should try to walk home and see how it goes. I still have to figure out part of the menu for Saturday, and order the groceries, but think the walk should be good.
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