Do I or don't I?

The last few days have been pretty rough. By rough I mean not only has my left hip become a complete wreck again, my right one is hurting alot. At first it was just in one area, but now it's moved to the front as well. I am not sure if it's because I am starting to overcompensate with my right for the left, or if it's in the joint. The stress of this is really getting to me in all sorts of ways. Not surprising really.

Friday I took the train out to the island and only had one bag. It wasn't too heavy but I definitely felt it in my hips. Saturday I went to Macy's with my mother for a little while. It's a smaller store than some and we didn't do much walking around in it as I knew exactly where I had to go. By the time I returned home I was a wreck. This was mostly my left at this point. I went to lie down on the couch and couldn't straighten my left leg for the life of me, the pain was intolerable. I iced it for about an hour just to numb the pain. As I had dinner plans that night I conceded and put a lidocaine patch on it. Thankfully that helped get me through dinner.

Sunday I was pretty achy with both hips and just took it easy. That didn't seem to be much help though as by nighttime I was in agony with both. I iced both for a while before I went to bed, and that seemed to help. I am just so frustrated with the lack of progress and the setbacks that it's really affecting me something horrible.

So the question is, do I or don't I go to the MET today. There is a photography exhibit that I've been wanting to see since it opened in September, around the time of my surgery. My parents and I have plans to go see it and they don't want to go if I am suffering, but to be honest I am so frustrated with my life being on hold I just want to do things again and enjoy myself.

Last week I was so excited to feel free and be able to get around without worrying how many steps a place had or how many blocks I might have to walk, and now it feels like it's just been taken away again. I know eventually I will get back to that point, but I am having a bit of a hard time at the moment keeping the faith. So that's where I'm at currently. Not quite defeated but definitely forced back from the front lines by the enemy.