the last couple of weeks

I've been going to PT every Monday and Wednesday, swimming in between, and last night I had another acupuncture session.

PT is going slowly, but I believe forward. I've been working on strengthening my core, and doing a couple of stretches, but not too many. Originally the PT was icing my neck after but that seemed to make my muscles spasm a lot. We tried heat a couple of visits ago and that seemed to not irritate the muscles nearly as much.

The acupuncture hurt more than usual last night, not sure why. I am sore and a bit stiff today but not too bad. I am planning on going swimming after work, that usually helps a bit.

A couple of Saturdays ago I went out dancing. I know, I'm totally not supposed to do that. I was feeling pretty good, and we went to a place that was having an 80's dance night. That's my favourite kind of music, especially when they started playing all of the Brit 80's. I went a bit wild for about an hour or so and just let loose. It was a great feeling, though at a certain point my body told me that it was time to go home. I did pay for it pretty bad the next few days, and I know the long term effects are bad, but it was worth it. I can't see myself doing that on a frequent basis, but it was definitely good for the psyche!

Acupuncture

I decided to try out Dr. Mark Seem, and my first appointment is tonight. I've put together some information about my medical past and I'm sure he'll think I'm a complete nutter with all of my issues, but what can you do? I think it's a good idea for the doctor to have a clue about this stuff, how else can he treat me? My appointment is at 18.30 and I wish it was sooner. My back is a bit better but my neck is still in a lot of pain, though the chiro did say I was much better than last week. I know I'm not supposed to put all my eggs in on basket but I am praying that this work will help, at least a bit. I am being optimistically cautious I guess. Other than that this weather bites. I so wish I was somewhere warm and dry.

chronic pain = temporary insanity

At least that's what I've been noticing more and more. When I have a flare-up, it's like the rational and "normal" part of my brain disappears and I become a pathetic, depressed, needy person that is so not me regularly. I don't know what to do anymore so that it doesn't happen. It just seems when I'm physically weakened, like I have been this week, I lose all self-confidence and respect and just go off the deep-end.

I am sure I'm not the only one that has these issues, unfortunately there are plenty of people with chronic conditions. I just wish that I could find a way so that my physical deterioration wouldn't affect my mental so much. But just another thing I have to learn to live with, and control.

As Nadum Ish Gamzu said: "Gam zu l'tovah" - "This is also for the good".
I don't claim to understand how, but in Hashem's infinite wisdom there is a reason for me to have to learn this. I will endeavor to be open and do my best.

On another note, yesterday I had the most amazing massage! S did it and he really worked my whole back, which is so tight now that I've added arm exercises in the pool. Wish I was going again today as I'm tight again after last night when I went to the pool. I had it mostly to myself, which is the best, so relaxing and a great place to meditate. I did quite a bit as I was feeling better, but then last night it started to rain again and now I feel crap all over again. It's my cycle to live with. So glad it's Friday and that I have plans to spend this weekend with a good friend. Just what the doctor ordered! Well, at least what I ordered! :-)

I finally heard back from the PT and they said that Oxford did receive the appeal, and it would be good if I rang, so I just did so. They received it on the 18th and said it's still in review, and that is a good thing (touch wood it is). I really need some more PT for my leg, at the very least for a bit to see if it's actually strengthened and to see if/what I can add to my routine. So fingers crossed!

not so sure...

what is causing my right hip to hurt.

Wednesday I did shoot some pool, but to be fair only two games so it wasn't that intense. Yesterday I went to the chiropractor and I told the masseuse that my lower right back has been feeling tight. He did a lot of work down there and also a bit on my hips, and it was later that afternoon my right hip started to hurt. So it could be that, or it could be soreness from the pool on Tuesday. I ended up not going to the pool last night since I was sore, and iced instead.

I have a busy weekend ahead so will have to keep reminding myself to take it slowly. That's definitely a lesson I've learned most emphatically. I am still a bit sore today though. Also, thankfully (touch wood) my mum is ok so that has taken away some stress. :-)