That is how my life has felt these last few days.
Friday I did end up at a doctors office, unfortunately one I didn't know. They completely misdiagnosed me, so to make a v. long story short, I ended up in the ER on Saturday and had to have the first of two emergency surgeries. I was able to leave Sunday evening. Thankfully I'm starting to feel a bit better today, but it was one of the most painful things, if not THE most, that I've been through, and even with all the morphine and local anesthetic, I felt everything. I had an abscess that had to be removed from, lets just say, a v. sensitive area. I've been out of work, but hopefully will return tomorrow. I was left with an open wound that will heal itself, but I have to clean it out with water 4 times a day and keep it covered with a dressing as it is still oozing away. Yes, lovely visual.
I will say that one should never ever go to Yaffe Ruden and Associates on the UES in NYC. They are beyond incompetent there, and if they had diagnosed me correctly I would have avoided a lot of pain and suffering.
I guess the good things are since I was in so much pain with this, it camouflaged all other issues, well mostly, for the last few days. And I seemed to lose some weight. Must have been all that screaming when I was getting cut up with knives and needles. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
As for my poor hip, I am not allowed to go to the pool until I see the doctor on Friday and she checks my wound. So until then my body is having a break. I'm not happy about it. I also have to still write a response for the second appeal to my insurance company when I get back to the office.
I really am so done with the medical community I could scream! Oh wait, I've been doing that daily lately anyway! :-)
14 May, 2008
09 May, 2008
Oxford sucks!
I received a letter from them when I got home on Wednesday night. They denied my appeal, so now I have to appeal that with the state. I'm so frustrated! I really don't get how they can make a judgement on criteria that was last examined in March! Things have definitely changed since I've been on the Mobic. I hate to admit it but I guess sometimes rat poison does do some good. I really don't want to take this for an over-extended period though. It's destroying my stomach.
Between that, this weather and some new medical mystery that has appeared I'm feeling pretty crappy physically. In all other respects though I'm good. I've been enjoying myself immensely lately. Last night I went to an gallery opening for Christopher Orr. His painting were very interesting. On my way out the lift operator said there was a huge opening in the main gallery so he dropped my off by the back entrance so I could go in without any hassle. :-) The art was not really to my taste, but it was nice they had food out as I was feeling a bit peckish. I also happened to meet a guy who owns a gallery and we got to talking about things so I will definitely keep him as a contact. Afterwards I went to a brill restaurant, Pipa, down by Union Square. I highly recommend it, food was delish and the sangria was pretty good too. After we went to Union Bar and just vegged on the couch. The music was nutty, one minute they'd have cool stuff on, then horrible rap thrown in - the dj was schizophrenic - but it was fun. I did miss the pool yesterday but will hopefully be able to go tomorrow, assuming all works out at the doctors today. I had to hunt down a doctor that could see me as my internist is out till Monday, so fun fun, an appointment at 2. Hopefully they'll suss out what is wrong. Like I said the other day, if it isn't one thing... Then again, I can't say my life is dull. Ha ha!
Between that, this weather and some new medical mystery that has appeared I'm feeling pretty crappy physically. In all other respects though I'm good. I've been enjoying myself immensely lately. Last night I went to an gallery opening for Christopher Orr. His painting were very interesting. On my way out the lift operator said there was a huge opening in the main gallery so he dropped my off by the back entrance so I could go in without any hassle. :-) The art was not really to my taste, but it was nice they had food out as I was feeling a bit peckish. I also happened to meet a guy who owns a gallery and we got to talking about things so I will definitely keep him as a contact. Afterwards I went to a brill restaurant, Pipa, down by Union Square. I highly recommend it, food was delish and the sangria was pretty good too. After we went to Union Bar and just vegged on the couch. The music was nutty, one minute they'd have cool stuff on, then horrible rap thrown in - the dj was schizophrenic - but it was fun. I did miss the pool yesterday but will hopefully be able to go tomorrow, assuming all works out at the doctors today. I had to hunt down a doctor that could see me as my internist is out till Monday, so fun fun, an appointment at 2. Hopefully they'll suss out what is wrong. Like I said the other day, if it isn't one thing... Then again, I can't say my life is dull. Ha ha!
07 May, 2008
if it's not one thing...
well, it's actually many. I've changed the quote.
Saturday I was feeling okay, weather was a bit hit or miss, and I took it easy. I had decided I would go to the pool on Sunday as it seems slightly less insane than on Saturdays. I also had plans to go out with some friends to Uncle Nicks - a must - for the flaming cheese! It was great! We ordered a bunch of starters and some wine and watched lots of flaming cheese! After we went next door to a bar that makes pretty damn strong drinks. This is a dangerous thing, but a fun one too! I'll just leave it at that. It was a great distraction from my pain though, as I barely knew what was bothering me! Gotta love that!
Sunday I went to the pool and had a good workout, pushed it a bit. After some lunch I went to sit in Central Park for a while, it was so beautiful out. My favourite weather, not too hot, not too cool - just right! I was feeling pretty good but still took the bus from my flat to the park, but I did end up walking home. I've been a bit sore since (yes even remembering to take my Mobic) so think I might have overdone it a bit. But still, I feel like I have to make some progress and not just do the same things all the time.
Monday was a pretty good day, weather lovely and I was even able to stand for a bit when I met my friend Stan out for drinks. I was still v. happy when the girl next to me finally left so I could nick her bar stool. :-) Yesterday did the pool again and hips were definitely not happy after, so I made sure to ice them both when I got home. I have to say that my back is still tight and my neck feels like there's a pinched nerve in there. I am thinking it's related to the arm exercises I've been doing in the pool. Tomorrow at my massage/chiro I will ask him to address that area.
Don't even get me started on my hand/wrist. It was hurting so much last night I put a lido patch on under my splint. Thankfully that worked so I didn't have the pain all night, but now it's back to hurting, plus I'm having shooting pains up and down the arm. Such fun. Have I mentioned how much I DO NOT want to have another hand surgery?
Anyway, for the most part, I've been good. I've slept well the last two nights (with assistance) but who cares, it feels great to sleep through the night! And I am off on holiday in two weeks so all is good!
Saturday I was feeling okay, weather was a bit hit or miss, and I took it easy. I had decided I would go to the pool on Sunday as it seems slightly less insane than on Saturdays. I also had plans to go out with some friends to Uncle Nicks - a must - for the flaming cheese! It was great! We ordered a bunch of starters and some wine and watched lots of flaming cheese! After we went next door to a bar that makes pretty damn strong drinks. This is a dangerous thing, but a fun one too! I'll just leave it at that. It was a great distraction from my pain though, as I barely knew what was bothering me! Gotta love that!
Sunday I went to the pool and had a good workout, pushed it a bit. After some lunch I went to sit in Central Park for a while, it was so beautiful out. My favourite weather, not too hot, not too cool - just right! I was feeling pretty good but still took the bus from my flat to the park, but I did end up walking home. I've been a bit sore since (yes even remembering to take my Mobic) so think I might have overdone it a bit. But still, I feel like I have to make some progress and not just do the same things all the time.
Monday was a pretty good day, weather lovely and I was even able to stand for a bit when I met my friend Stan out for drinks. I was still v. happy when the girl next to me finally left so I could nick her bar stool. :-) Yesterday did the pool again and hips were definitely not happy after, so I made sure to ice them both when I got home. I have to say that my back is still tight and my neck feels like there's a pinched nerve in there. I am thinking it's related to the arm exercises I've been doing in the pool. Tomorrow at my massage/chiro I will ask him to address that area.
Don't even get me started on my hand/wrist. It was hurting so much last night I put a lido patch on under my splint. Thankfully that worked so I didn't have the pain all night, but now it's back to hurting, plus I'm having shooting pains up and down the arm. Such fun. Have I mentioned how much I DO NOT want to have another hand surgery?
Anyway, for the most part, I've been good. I've slept well the last two nights (with assistance) but who cares, it feels great to sleep through the night! And I am off on holiday in two weeks so all is good!
02 May, 2008
chronic pain = temporary insanity
At least that's what I've been noticing more and more. When I have a flare-up, it's like the rational and "normal" part of my brain disappears and I become a pathetic, depressed, needy person that is so not me regularly. I don't know what to do anymore so that it doesn't happen. It just seems when I'm physically weakened, like I have been this week, I lose all self-confidence and respect and just go off the deep-end.
I am sure I'm not the only one that has these issues, unfortunately there are plenty of people with chronic conditions. I just wish that I could find a way so that my physical deterioration wouldn't affect my mental so much. But just another thing I have to learn to live with, and control.
As Nadum Ish Gamzu said: "Gam zu l'tovah" - "This is also for the good".
I don't claim to understand how, but in Hashem's infinite wisdom there is a reason for me to have to learn this. I will endeavor to be open and do my best.
On another note, yesterday I had the most amazing massage! S did it and he really worked my whole back, which is so tight now that I've added arm exercises in the pool. Wish I was going again today as I'm tight again after last night when I went to the pool. I had it mostly to myself, which is the best, so relaxing and a great place to meditate. I did quite a bit as I was feeling better, but then last night it started to rain again and now I feel crap all over again. It's my cycle to live with. So glad it's Friday and that I have plans to spend this weekend with a good friend. Just what the doctor ordered! Well, at least what I ordered! :-)
I finally heard back from the PT and they said that Oxford did receive the appeal, and it would be good if I rang, so I just did so. They received it on the 18th and said it's still in review, and that is a good thing (touch wood it is). I really need some more PT for my leg, at the very least for a bit to see if it's actually strengthened and to see if/what I can add to my routine. So fingers crossed!
I am sure I'm not the only one that has these issues, unfortunately there are plenty of people with chronic conditions. I just wish that I could find a way so that my physical deterioration wouldn't affect my mental so much. But just another thing I have to learn to live with, and control.
As Nadum Ish Gamzu said: "Gam zu l'tovah" - "This is also for the good".
I don't claim to understand how, but in Hashem's infinite wisdom there is a reason for me to have to learn this. I will endeavor to be open and do my best.
On another note, yesterday I had the most amazing massage! S did it and he really worked my whole back, which is so tight now that I've added arm exercises in the pool. Wish I was going again today as I'm tight again after last night when I went to the pool. I had it mostly to myself, which is the best, so relaxing and a great place to meditate. I did quite a bit as I was feeling better, but then last night it started to rain again and now I feel crap all over again. It's my cycle to live with. So glad it's Friday and that I have plans to spend this weekend with a good friend. Just what the doctor ordered! Well, at least what I ordered! :-)
I finally heard back from the PT and they said that Oxford did receive the appeal, and it would be good if I rang, so I just did so. They received it on the 18th and said it's still in review, and that is a good thing (touch wood it is). I really need some more PT for my leg, at the very least for a bit to see if it's actually strengthened and to see if/what I can add to my routine. So fingers crossed!
01 May, 2008
getting better every day
Well, for now that is. Monday was bad, but Tuesday was a nightmare. I barely slept, and then could barely move in the morning when I was meant to get up. I had to take a sick day and even order food in. I hate days like that. Jumping out of a window was looking better every moment. Between my lack of sleep and the weather it was the worst I've felt in a v. long time.
It's funny, my friend Jodi said on Sunday when we were out that I'm like the energizer bunny - I just keep going. I certainly don't think of myself that way, and definitely don't feel like it this week. Still, I guess I am happy that it seems like that to others. I'm not a particular fan of whinging.
Yesterday morning I was up v. early as I still was having trouble sleeping, so I went to the PT pool before work. That was a great thing and I was sorry I had to leave it and go to the office. The water is over 90' and just feels so good. By yesterday afternoon I started to feel somewhat human again. I did a little walking for errands after work but there was no way I'd have made it all the way home, so hopped on a bus at 60th Street. My right hip is still a bit wonky this week.
Today I had my massage and that was wonderful. I wish I could have that every day. I am going to the pool after work, the nice, hot pool. Looking forward to that. And then meeting up for a bevvy afterwards. I am really hoping those weather people are wrong with there upcoming forecast as I'm just starting to feel okay again.
The only thing I heard back from the PT people were that they were going to follow up, but still haven't heard a thing back. Will bug them again now methinks.
It's funny, my friend Jodi said on Sunday when we were out that I'm like the energizer bunny - I just keep going. I certainly don't think of myself that way, and definitely don't feel like it this week. Still, I guess I am happy that it seems like that to others. I'm not a particular fan of whinging.
Yesterday morning I was up v. early as I still was having trouble sleeping, so I went to the PT pool before work. That was a great thing and I was sorry I had to leave it and go to the office. The water is over 90' and just feels so good. By yesterday afternoon I started to feel somewhat human again. I did a little walking for errands after work but there was no way I'd have made it all the way home, so hopped on a bus at 60th Street. My right hip is still a bit wonky this week.
Today I had my massage and that was wonderful. I wish I could have that every day. I am going to the pool after work, the nice, hot pool. Looking forward to that. And then meeting up for a bevvy afterwards. I am really hoping those weather people are wrong with there upcoming forecast as I'm just starting to feel okay again.
The only thing I heard back from the PT people were that they were going to follow up, but still haven't heard a thing back. Will bug them again now methinks.
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