Saturday morning

I woke up and my bum was burning. So I looked. Seemed after the torture of the cauterization the day before - it hadn't even worked!
Just my luck.
I'm not even going to bother to ring the doctor since I'm seeing him on Friday. There is no way I'm letting him cauterize anything again as it was so painful and no success.
I'm pretty much hitting bottom right now.

Just when you thought it was safe...

to get your hopes up, they get smashed. In many ways lately but the one I'm talking about now is my bum wound. At the last appointment with my surgeon, he said the fistulotomy was healing wonderfully. I was happy, it was all good. This morning something didn't feel right, it hurt and I looked. Good thing I did as it sort of looked like a purplish blood blister type of thing. I rang the doctor and he said to come in. I figured I was going to see him next week so I'd just go today instead. Long story short, he doesn't know quite what it is. He did cauterize it though. Turns out the middle part of the wound is healed, and on one end it's taking longer, which we knew. But the other end has opened up. He said it doesn't look infected, which is definitely good, but depending on how it looks next weed (I have to go back on Friday) he may put me on antibiotics.

I realise I sound very defeatist at the moment, but why can't anything in my life just be simple and easy? I'm at my wits end.

some good, some bad

I tried to take it easy this week to recuperate from the previous few weeks. Tuesday I went to the pool, and was so tired. It's amazing how missing 5 days in a row made me feel out of shape. Then again, it could be because I was so exhausted. I tried to go yesterday but whomever is running this place decided it wasn't such a good idea, as there was one obstacle after another. (The ladies changing rooms were closed, then no showers, etc). So instead I met my friend that just moved across the street on 34th and we hung out on the roof having cheese and wine. Not a bad way to enjoy the lovely weather last night. Wish every summer night was that lovely. No humidity and a nice breeze - perfect!

Wednesday I went to the chiro where they tried to sort out this tingling down my arm. My doctor even cracked my bad, which he rarely, if ever, does. That's what a mess it was. After the bad news was dropped on me - my daft insurance company has decided to NOT let me go to the chiro anymore - just like they did with my PT for my hip. We had a long talk and it seems United Health that owns Oxford now just lost a HUGE lawsuit and so they will be denying everyone and everything.

See: A Guide To Insurance Company Denials and Medical Loss Ratios

Pretty ironic when Ann Fleishauer, the Director of External Communications lets the OptumHealth website make this statement:
"About OptumHealth: As one of the nation's largest consumer health services companies,
OptumHealth makes health care easier and better for employers, health plans, public sector entities and the 61 million people with access to its services. The Company's goal is to optimize health, well-being and financial security, while lowering benefit costs and helping consumers
make informed decisions about their health through standalone or integrated services. OptumHealth is a company of UnitedHealth Group (NYSE:UNH). More information about OptumHealth can be found at www.OptumHealth.com"

(OptumHealth, which is the in-house division that deals with UnitedHealth and Oxfords coverage for PT, chiropractic, etc.)

The last thing OptumHealth (previously ACN)/ UnitedHealth seems to be doing these days is making health care easier and better. All they are doing is taking away services so that the higher ups and investors are making a lot more dosh. It's all for profit, which, when comes to health care, is NEVER a good thing.

These links explains about the lawsuit:
UnitedHealth sued for racketeering
Hospitals Sue Groups For Health Racketeering
UNH: 4,000 job cuts, $895 lawsuit payout

It's no secret that health care in this country is a mess and it needs to be changed so that everyone is covered. I don't profess to have the answers, but am paying attention to all that is going on. One thing that sounds a bit iffy to me, since it has profit orientated insurance companies involved, is the Health Care for America Now (HCAN) campaign.

Some interesting articles about all of this:
AHIP CEO busted by outraged American - with damning audio
AHIP Murder By Spreadsheet Deceive America Tour
Sure, the insurance industry wants to hear from you. Sure.
Fights Over Health Claims Spaw a New Arms Race - Insurers and Doctors Try for Upper Hand; Firms Help Both Sides
The Truth About "Healthcare for America Now"

Ok, sorry to go on about that but when you're in my situation you get worried about these nasty tactics the insurance companies do.

Other than that, Wednesday night was brilliant, saw George Michael at the Garden and he was amazing! I was dancing and afraid that would be a bad thing in the long run but thankfully my hip has not gotten too bad from it, even though it was hurting before the concert. When George is singing you just can't help to dance!

Yesterday I saw Dr. Aranoff for another post-op check up. He was very excited and surprised about how well I've been healing and in just 5 weeks! He said this procedure is always more risky with women in that area because of the thin muscle. Thankfully that seems to be okay and now I just have to see him once every month until it's completely healed. That was very good news!

Wiped out

It's been 44 weeks since my hip surgery. I thought I was doing pretty well but the last two weeks made me feel otherwise. I have been running around more in the last two weeks than I had done since having my hip surgery, and with all that running around, my right hip has not been a happy camper. It may also be a combination of that and the fact that I've been leaning more on my right side when sitting because of the fistulotomy. Either way, the hip is not happy. Because I was going to be running around so much this weekend and it had already been hurting me, I used lidocaine patches on Saturday and Sunday. I would not have made it through without. Last night when I was able to just relax my hip was so tight. Actually they both were and my legs were very achy as well. I even iced my left hip to try to calm that side down. There were also a lot of stairs involved over the weekend, much more than what is "normal" for me.

To add to this loveliness, my right hand/wrist is acting up again and really hurting. I had stopped using the splint but really have to start again as I am not even going to contemplate another surgery right now. My neck is so messed up that I'm having tingling down my right arm and hand. Thankfully I have the chiropractor on Wednesday, though I wish it was today. On Thursday I have a check up with Dr. A for the bum. I finally had the courage to look at it a couple of weeks ago as it was really hurting and I wanted to make sure it didn't look infected or anything. All I can say is it was pretty disgusting, and big. The doctor definitely did lie when he said how big and deep it would be. I checked it again yesterday and it seems like the upper part of the incision has started to or closed up a bit, which I'd like to think is a good sign. It's hard to tell though and I don't really like looking so it's good the doctor can check this week. I've been going to the pool about twice a week and it feels fine so that is a very good thing. It still hurts to sit, especially on hard chairs, and I can't wait for that to stop, along with having to take sitz baths every day. I will definitely not miss that!

BTW - Natalie Douglas was completely brilliant with her "Cafe Society" show! If you ever get a chance to see her you should.

42 week update

The hip has been a little unhappy lately from all the pressure I've been putting on it from sitting funny. However, it's no where as bad as I might expect it to be. The last few days were more achy than it has been, but I started taking the Mobic again today so hopefully it will help. (Yes, I'm daft and left all of my drugs in the city whilst I went to the island for the long weekend). The bum has been improving, thank G-d! Did a lot of running around this weekend. Thursday night we went to a party at Tavern on the Green, and then on Friday to my brothers for a block party and Saturday the wineries out on the North Fork. Busy but fun. Got to do some driving which I haven't done for a while and that was v. nice. I still don't miss owning a car though - petrol is so expensive!

I went swimming after work on Thursday and it went well. I did walking and leg exercises for about half an hour. At that point the bum did start burning a bit, but at least it was at the end of my workout. The pool was manic - there was this git wearing a wet suit (in a basement, indoor pool - how ridiculous) trying to become the fourth in my lane. I'm happy to share with up to two more people, as you have to it gets crowded, but the lanes are not big enough for four, so we had to toss him back out. He showed up yesterday again in the wet suit but thankfully I was getting ready to leave so didn't have to deal. It was nice and empty when I arrived yesterday, but by the time I left quite crowded. I guess more people had returned to the city by then. I even did a few laps but then the hip disagreed so I stuck to the normal routine.

I'm excited about seeing "The Bacchae" tomorrow night. The reviews have been good and I really enjoy watching Alan Cumming. After last weeks debacle with Sam Shepard's play, I need something good to wash that bad taste out of my mouth. At least it was only 70 minutes long! My bum wasn't too bad and tomorrows play isn't too long either so that is good. There are so many plays that I want to see this coming season I don't know what I'm going to do! It's not a bad problem though.

Post-op

I had my post-op for the fistulotomy today and thankfully the doctor said it looks well and is healing well. What a relief! He said he was sorry he couldn't do anything for the pain, but it's such a sensitive area that that is what happens. Great news is that he said I could go swimming. He said it might burn at first, but heck, it's already doing that, so why not? Just wanted to add a fabulous tip I picked up from some reading on the internet. After you do your sitz bath or shower, use the hair dryer on cold and low to make sure that area is dry. I started doing this the second or third say after surgery and it made the wound actually feel good by stopping the stabbing, burning pain - if only when the dryer was on, plus kept the wound dry. As we well know a moist wound doesn't heal very quickly. Wish I could remember where I got this tip so I could thank the person!)

Very excited to go see "Kicking a Dead Horse" tonight. It's the new Sam Shepard at the Public Theatre with Stephen Rea. Thankfully it's only 70 minutes long so I am hoping my bum can handle that. Going to dinner at Five Points first. Can't remember if I've been there or not, so it shall be a surprise!

My hip is still achy, but now that I can get back to doing some PT I am hoping that will help. And I am finally remembering to take the Mobic again.

not as bad...

as last time. Thankfully! This is what they looked like on Friday night,

and then on Saturday. They got a bit gooey but thankfully nothing like the last batch. I really hope that is it! I am tired of the itching! Thankfully they are practically all gone today.

Even though I went out yesterday to watch the football match, and knew I was going to be indoors, I put bug repellant on my legs, just in case. I'm going to have to stock up on that stuff now. Hopefully I can find something that works that is not full of all the poisonous chemicals though. I will do a search today.

Getting back to hip related items...
My right hip has not been to happy lately. I think it's from a combination of leaning on my right side so much because of surgery (yes, my bum is still killing me when I sit on it), and last week I forgot to take my Mobic. Well, didn't really forget, but was afraid to take it too soon after surgery as I didn't know if it would make me bleed more. I started it again yesterday, so we will see how that goes. Dr. Aronoff's office rang this morning to cancel my post-op on Thursday. The woman first said she would give me an appointment the week after, and when I expressed my concern about waiting and really wanting to see him this week, she got all snipish. I know it's Monday morning, but come on. Finally she conceded and got me in for Wednesday. It was strange, they're usually very nice there.

I haven't really slept the last two nights so hoping I can sleep tonight! Well, at least it's a short week this week!

boredom and general icky-ness

Yesterday was quite a day. I had brecky with my parents, then passed out on the couch for an hour or so. I had taken a pain pill when I ate and I guess it hit me pretty hard. It's definitely true that these things build up in your system, because the more I took, the quicker the effect was. When I woke up I took a shower and my mother wanted me to try to walk outside. We went pretty close, just to the food store, but I felt really queasy and dizzy and was wiped out by they time we returned. I ate again because we thought that might help, and then I fell asleep for a few hours. In the interim they had left. I was woken up around 19.30 by the phone and thought that I should eat something. I tried to look at some menus online but still felt ill, so just had a little cantaloupe that was cut up. I tried to sit in the other room for a while but just felt horrid so came back to bed and eventually fell asleep, on and off, for the night. I am glad that I didn't go to work today because I would have been a wreck.

This morning I still felt horrible, even though it had been about 24 hours since I had taken a pain pill! I decided last night that no matter how much pain I was in I was just going to take Tylenol because I hated the haze I was in. After I took a shower this morning and still felt ill, I thought some fresh air might help, so went across the street to Starbucks, where they have outdoor seats (I brought my own cushion - and it was still pretty painful). I was out there for an hour or so and it seemed to help a little. Then it started raining - just my luck. So I came home, ordered some lunch, and made myself eat. Since then just been vegging on the couch, trying to sit on my bum, and feel less sick. I think some of the meds are finally leaving my body. I truly hate feeling like this, like I've no control over my body.

I have to say this is a pretty horrible recovery and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I can't begin to describe the pain. I have decided I am going to go to work tomorrow and am hoping to make it through the day, with just Tylenol - at least that's the goal. I am beyond bored. It's dull just sitting around with no company, so at least there I will (hopefully) have things to do. I am really bummed (no pun intended) that I will be missing the concert in the park tonight - it's perfect weather! Oh well. C'est la vie.

Pain, drugs, boredom and lack of sleep

Make me pretty loopy. I have been going between Demerol and Ultracet, and there doesn't seem to be much difference between the two.

Thankfully the surgery went well, and the procedure was the "easiest" version that the doctor had outlined. It was pretty quick, only about half an hour. I woke up screaming my head off though. The pain was completely unbearable. The last thing I remember was laying down on the table and the anesthesiologist putting drugs in my IV, and then I woke up in agony. Agony is an understatement. The amount of pain I had was completely indescribable. This was the third worst amount of pain I've had. (It's crazy that I have a running list: the first was waking up from hip surgery in September; the second was when they were doing the surgery on the abscess - both times since the damn resident buggered it up the first time - and didn't put me under). When I woke up and was hysterical they asked if I wanted my mother to come in, and she did. She's amazing, I don't know how she stayed so calm and level-headed when I was losing it completely. Thankfully after what seemed like much begging and pleading and pleading and begging they gave me a shot of Demerol. After a few minutes that finally kicked in, and though the pain was still bad at least my mind didn't seem to care much anymore.

They let me stay there for about half an hour and then pretty much kicked me out, telling me I'd be more comfortable at home. I just wanted more shots of Demerol but they wouldn't give me that. The doctor did give me a script for some Demerol tabs though. I don't remember much about Friday, but what I do was a nightmare. When I first got home I passed out on my bed from the sheer exhaustion of being in that much pain + the pain killers. When I woke up I had to go to the bathroom, and was pretty nervous. I was able to pee but I also saw all this blood on the gauze and it freaked me out as it was bright red. This was the first time I actually realised how they literally taped up my behind with gauze. I was nervous about the blood so my mother said I should call the doctors office. They were not very helpful and just kept repeating that I only needed to call if the pain was very bad (I wonder what they consider v. bad since I was in agony???), if I was bleeding more than normal (again - how was I meant to know what "normal" was for this) and if I couldn't pee. I also asked, as my stomach seemed to be getting a little upset, what I should do if I felt I had to have a bm. The guy said to just take off the gauze and tape and go. Ok, so long as he said it was fine.

My mother wanted me to eat something because I hadn't all day, so I went in to the kitchen to see if I could and all of a sudden my bum decided it was incontinent and let loose. This was pretty gross as I still had that taped gauze all over. What a mess, to say the least. I was pretty upset, not just about the mess, but since incontinence is something that can happen with this surgery. I was so glad my father was out when this happened. I thought all was well, washed up and did a sitz bath and got changed. All for naught it seemed as it happened again. I couldn't believe it. It was probably a good thing I was high on painkillers as otherwise I'd have been freaking out completely. Finally my insides decided to give it a rest and I was able to get sorted out and back in bed. Such fun stuff I tell you! After that I don't remember much. My mother made dinner and I had to go to the table to eat. This required lots of pillows under me. I don't know how I made it through, but went straight back to bed afterwards. Unfortunately I didn't sleep very well and was up all night from the pain. (the last two paragraphs were written later but I wanted to add them so that anyone who goes through this might know what to expect)

Yesterday was a little better than today. I finally slept a little last night but this morning was in agony, probably because I hadn't taken a pain tablet since last night. I'm still pretty out of it from the drugs now, so this might not even make sense.

People don't realise that even if you're loopy and in pain you can be bored out of your mind! Thankfully my mother had been a great sport playing monopoly and scrabble with me to keep my mind occupied. There is only so much bad telly you can watch. I would also like to that my friends for their support before and after, it means so much to me to have that. It seems a little thing perhaps, but when you're going in for surgery it's nice to get that and afterwards it is great to have people call. I guess if you've never been through this stuff you don't realise the importance of what a little phone call can do.

Hopefully I will be going back to work on Tuesday, but I will see how I am tomorrow. Sitting is still incredibly difficult at the moment - I'm not sitting now, just kneeling on the floor.

Ok, room is starting to spin again so going to go lay down.

Answer

Just spoke to Dr Aranoff and he said since there's still an abscess I have to come in for him to drain it and possibly put a clamp on it??? I have no idea what that means. Tomorrow at 11.45 is the designated time. He says it will be quick and I can come back to work after, and it needs to be done as he couldn't do the fistulotomy until it is cleared up anyway (he hadn't mentioned that before), so I don't have a choice -what else is new!?!

Also he said that since my drs want me to have a colonoscopy, that I should maybe do it b/f the surgery too. I will discuss that with him tomorrow but am not looking forward to that prospect.
Have I mentioned how much fun it is to be me lately???

?'s

After my dr's appointment last night, I have a list of questions to ask Dr. Aranoff about the upcoming surgery. My dr. wants me to see if he would do a colonoscopy at the same time, so I wouldn't have to be put out twice. I don't know if I'm up for this, but I will ask. She and my internist want to discover why this all happened.

I also wanted to ask some other q's re: anesthesia, wound care, etc. My dr. wanted me to tell him also that the abscess is about the size of a cherry now and not oozing much as the current wound is almost completely healed over. So I really don't have a clue if I will be making it till the 20th or going in sooner. I did just realise that Dr. A is out of the office today so I won't hear back till tomorrow. Fun fun fun.

At least I slept last night, I love those klonopins! First time I've slept through the night since I can remember. I knew the weather was going to be crap today so felt like I should at least get some sleep. Still pretty groggy though. Thankfully it's dead at the office so I don't have to worry. Tomorrow & Friday the big guys are in so it will be much busier.