Wiped out

It's been 44 weeks since my hip surgery. I thought I was doing pretty well but the last two weeks made me feel otherwise. I have been running around more in the last two weeks than I had done since having my hip surgery, and with all that running around, my right hip has not been a happy camper. It may also be a combination of that and the fact that I've been leaning more on my right side when sitting because of the fistulotomy. Either way, the hip is not happy. Because I was going to be running around so much this weekend and it had already been hurting me, I used lidocaine patches on Saturday and Sunday. I would not have made it through without. Last night when I was able to just relax my hip was so tight. Actually they both were and my legs were very achy as well. I even iced my left hip to try to calm that side down. There were also a lot of stairs involved over the weekend, much more than what is "normal" for me.

To add to this loveliness, my right hand/wrist is acting up again and really hurting. I had stopped using the splint but really have to start again as I am not even going to contemplate another surgery right now. My neck is so messed up that I'm having tingling down my right arm and hand. Thankfully I have the chiropractor on Wednesday, though I wish it was today. On Thursday I have a check up with Dr. A for the bum. I finally had the courage to look at it a couple of weeks ago as it was really hurting and I wanted to make sure it didn't look infected or anything. All I can say is it was pretty disgusting, and big. The doctor definitely did lie when he said how big and deep it would be. I checked it again yesterday and it seems like the upper part of the incision has started to or closed up a bit, which I'd like to think is a good sign. It's hard to tell though and I don't really like looking so it's good the doctor can check this week. I've been going to the pool about twice a week and it feels fine so that is a very good thing. It still hurts to sit, especially on hard chairs, and I can't wait for that to stop, along with having to take sitz baths every day. I will definitely not miss that!

BTW - Natalie Douglas was completely brilliant with her "Cafe Society" show! If you ever get a chance to see her you should.

I should slow down before I'm forced to...

but I have so much to do! Not that I'm complaining, I like being busy, but it's definitely taking it's toll on my body at present.

Monday I made it to the pool. It was definitely worth it. I felt much better exercising in the water. Afterwards I came home thinking I would rest, but then kept coming up with things to do around my flat. Yesterday I went to the Philharmonic in CP. It was a lot of fun as usual, but unfortunately the speaker on our side was not functioning properly so we missed out on the music. Still, a good night - other than all the schlepping I had to do though. My neck and back hate me right now. I am so glad I have a chiro appointment tomorrow at lunch. Tonight I will go to the pool and after really do just have to rest. The rest of the week will be very busy: tomorrow night seeing the amazing Natalie Douglas in concert at Birdland! I'm really looking forward to that. Friday my (big) nephew is coming in for the weekend so there will be a lot of running around with him. After that things seem to settle down a bit, I have a concert on the 23rd and then one on the 30th, but that's it. I'm looking forward to doing nothing for a little while!

My bum and right hip are not happy at the moment, I think it was still sore from Sunday and yesterday carrying things all over the city didn't help. Not wanting to go back to just using lidocaine patches regularly so going to see how I do without for now. May have to throw one on over the weekend though.

Will I ever learn?

Not to overdue it, that is. Other than the bum bothering me, my fibro has been (touch wood) pretty good lately. And that's when I make the mistake and think my body is just like a normal , healthy one. I did overdue it last week, I had plans every night of the week. I was planning on going to the pool on Friday but when I left work I just felt like I had no energy at all and went straight home. My friend came over that night, which was good, but I definitely needed to just stay on my couch. I thought that would do it, but Saturday - when I was hoping to have a nice lie-in - the drilling on the street began about half eight. There went my brilliant idea. I thought I'd go to the pool but just couldn't get off the couch, until I went back to bed. I tried to take a nap around noon but that didn't work out either. Eventually I met my friend and we went up to City Island. Before I left I (thankfully) remembered to put a lidocaine patch on my right hip, as it's been cranky lately. It was a good thing I did because it was not happy all day. Everyone always said how cool that place was, but I think it's pretty run down and nothing to do there, except eat. And where we ate it wasn't v. good. Perhaps we missed the happening places, but it's pretty small so I find that hard to believe. It was okay though as the weather was nice so we walked around a bit. Then we had the genius idea to go to the MET roof to listen to the Bon Jovi concert. We made it there by eight, and were able to stay up there till about 8.40 - so it was good to hear, and at the same time not deal w/ the masses of humanity down there. After we just had a leisurely cheese and wine dinner at Uva. I love that place!

I probably would have been okay if I had just rested yesterday, but I was off to a close friends house for her kids birthday party. Again I threw on a patch as the hip was still hurting. I'm happy to help but we did so much stuff and I was already feeling wiped out, so think I over did it in a bit way. Plus this weather today is not helping. One day I'll learn not to try to do everything. Then again, maybe not. The party was good though and it was great to see my friend and her kids - it had been a while.

I really need to get to the pool, it's been a week now, and I feel like the hip is hurting because I haven't been doing much exercise. That and the sitting on my right side all the time probably doesn't help. I went to the chiro on Friday and he said when he was done that I definitely needed to come in this week as I'm all knotted up. I've definitely turned myself into a pretzel lately trying to sit comfortably. Wish I had an appointment today, but it's not till Thursday. Right now I have a lido patch on my neck/right shoulder area to try to numb the pain. I hope it works because I am just miserable. Brought my suit but will see later if I think swimming will help or just going home and passing out will be better for me.

As for my recovery from the latest, it's healing, but this morning I woke up to find it had been bleeding again. The doctor said that might happen, so I'm not going to worry about it. Plus I was lifting small children yesterday and probably am still not allowed to be doing that just yet.

Pool time continued...

Friday I came out to the island. I had a heavy bag with some laundry, so that didn't help but to irritate the body a bit. I was definitely still achy and in pain in my hips. The weather went off in the evening and my knees especially were feeling it, took me a while to finally fall asleep. I had also put half a lidocaine patch on the back of my right shoulder as it was killing me. It was a little touch and go so didn't get a "good nights sleep" as I was a zombie when I woke up on Saturday.

Yesterday I couldn't decide whether to go to the pool or not, but eventually did in the afternoon. Thanks to my mother driving me, as I had no capacity for driving at that moment! I was in the pool for about 25 minutes, did my leg exercises and walking back and forth and then side to side. I am still cutting out the squats as I think that might have been irritating by hips, but not sure. My right hip was NOT happy in the least when I got out of the pool, and I made sure to ice when I got home, which definitely helped.

In the evening we went to my brothers house for my nephew's birthday. I took it easy and was still just so tired. When we got home last night I went straight to bed and was just watching telly. All of a sudden the groin area on both my left and right sides started a stabbing pain, first on the left, then the right. I was crying from the pain it was so bad. My mother came in and then got me some ice packs and that seemed to calm it down. It was the strangest thing, totally out of nowhere. Eventually I fell asleep and slept relatively well.

I think I am going to pass on the pool today though. I am not sure if that is what triggered that groin pain, so will have to ask my PT guys tomorrow. I am also pretty achy all over. Unfortunately I think he is away so it will just be the new understudy. I don't think she has enough experience with this. I see Dr. Kelly in two weeks and right now I am ready to yell at him. It's been almost 6 months and I don't feel that much better, on my right side. I hope he has some better ideas, and not including surgery, because I know I don't have the strength for that with either leg at the moment.

I am sorry to say it but I'm having a hard time keeping the faith at the moment. Hopefully we'll come up with a resolution or plan of attack soon and it will work. I guess it doesn't help that my right index finger has been barely usable for the last two weeks and my jaw/mouth pain has been non-stop. I would love to hop on a plane and disappear, but as we know, running away from problems or displacing them never helped anyone.

Recovery

Last night was a bit nuts, open vodka bars are v. dangerous. But I must say that between the vodka and the lidocaine patch on my right hip I seemed to hold up relatively well. I definitely should not make a habit of wearing those almost 3" heel boots though. I am paying for it today. The front of my hips are sooo sore, as well as my right knee. I have PT tomorrow, I missed yesterday for the fundraiser do, so hopefully I will fell better. I have to admit though I feel frustrated and like I've hit a wall. I can't increase the weights because it irritates everything else, so the strength is slow in returning. Also think I've been doing too much running around and as much as I enjoy it, I must stop it as it's still too soon to do too much. At least that's how it feels.

Oh, and my tooth/jaw/whatever part of my mouth, hasn't stopped hurting since it started a couple of weeks ago, but I am loathe to go see a dentist after last time. I keep hoping it will just go away on it's own.

Even though the weather is crap and I feel like crap I am going to make a concerted effort to get to the gym after work. At least in the pool I feel somewhat normal and it's good to do some exercise finally! I'm trying to go at least two times a week, but aiming for three. It all depends on my schedule.

Monday update

The weekend went okay. I was still a bit sore and achy on Friday, but a night out seemed to help distract me. Saturday the weather was still crap and I was definitely feeling it. Stayed in all day but did get some things done around the house, and also went through a ton of my negatives - am choosing ones that I want to scan when my scanner finally arrives! Did make it out in the evening as I was feeling a bit better. The weather had started to clear up which always helps.

Sunday I went down with a friend to do some volunteer work and being on my feet was not the best idea for three hours. I was feeling it very much in my right hip especially afterwards. I debated back and forth about going to the pool, but finally decided it would be for the best. Thankfully there were no kiddie parties and all the lanes were open so it wasn't too crowded. I stayed in for about 25 minutes, did various leg exercises and then the rest of the time walked up and down the laps. I felt a little sore afterwards on the walk home, but then again, I had been hurting since before the pool.

I felt pretty good this morning, that is, until I was putting on my tights. My right hip went off in some wonky way and has been hurting down the outside of the hip and shooting along the side towards my knee. I'm hoping I just did some sort of slight pull and it will wear off, especially as I'm wearing my high heeled boots today. Fingers crossed it goes away by tonight! Then again, I can always cheat and throw on a lidocaine patch so I'm not a gimp at the party after work.

Getting a bit gutsy again...

Today the weather has been absolute CRAP! But thankfully to me sleeping relatively well the last week, my fibro has not been flaring up too much.

PT on Wednesday was good. We discussed that I hadn't had any sort of bad reaction to what was done on Monday, and agreed to keep it status quo for the time being. Of course then my PT guys decided to add the balance board at the last minute. I hate that thing! Well, I don't mind the front to back bit, it's the side to side that always seems to make my hips, feet, knees, etc flare-up. The area below my right knee where I have bursitis had been acting up from the morning on Wednesday so I had half a lidocaine patch on that all day. I love those things!

Yesterday was pretty good, no aggro from the PT, which is a welcome and happy thing. Tonight I have plans and since I got all dressed up decided to wear my boots. The heels are only about 2" but my right hip has not been happy with me since I arrived at work. I will try to remember to ice when I get home. If all goes well I will try to pool tomorrow. Fingers crossed!

I love my lidocaine patches!

This weekend went fairly smoothly. Getting to the airport was pretty easy and I was fortunate that I did not have to wait long for the train or bus. (Btw - I never knew there was a HUGE Pathmark at 125th and Lex. It's enormous!) Thankfully the traffic was moving well too and I made it door to door in under an hour.
I walked in the terminal, seemed like a hassle to have to explain about needing a wheelchair since the gates were not too far from the security.

Saturday my mother and I went down to the Corcoran. We took the metro - interesting people on the metro these days - and it was only about a half hour journey. It was FREEZING out though. The walk to the gallery was a bit longer than I had anticipated. Thankfully I had put a lidocaine patch on my left hip as a preventive measure. I'm getting pretty clever at this point - took me long enough!

I brought my digital automatic camera with me and was having fun taking shots all around, even though we were as cold as icebergs on the north pole.
Thankfully we made it to the exhibit before the masses and did not have to queue up for too long (The line that existed when we left went around and around the whole building - madness!). The exhibit was quite large, about 150 photographs I believe. I was definitely getting worn out by the end of it and craving a seat. But it was so worth it. It reminded me of why I love photography so much, and how much I miss shooting black and white especially. I am now very determined to try to get a Mac with lots of memory and good printer and scanner for my 2 1/4 negs so I can truly get to work on my pictures. It's been way too long since I've focused on my art, and lord knows I have to start cataloging and doing something with it at. (If anyone wins the lottery and feels like donating to the cause, you know where to reach me :-)

Afterwards we stopped for lunch - my mother insisting on eating, and I was happy to sit as well. My right side did hold up fairly well though so no complaints there. I was a bit sore on the metro on the way back but thankfully we were able to get seats after a few stops and that definitely helped.

For the party that night I threw on a lidocaine patch on my right hip just to make sure I didn't have to suffer all night in case it flared up. After standing for a while I had to sit down and take the pressure off. But all in all it was ok.

Tonight I have PT for the first time since the 16th! I think it might have helped a bit to have a slight break though, since the hips were all irritated. We shall see how it goes tonight. I am planning on still going on the easier side as I don't want a repeat.

I did it...

Not sure yet if it was the best idea, but we did make it to the MET today. I am glad I went as there was a Lee Friedlander exhibit that I hadn't even known about which was good, and their new "Depth of Field" which was OK. I guess it is good for a general intro into photography. Reminded me of my intro to photo classes I took at university. But still, glad I saw it.

I did put on a lidocaine patch on my left hip before we left. I was OK walking around. After the photo exhibits we went to the cafeteria for lunch and then my dad wanted to go back and see the impressionists. Thankfully they had benches in a lot of the galleries so I was able to sit whilst my parents looked around.

My left hip is definitely acting up and quite sore but, touch wood, my right hip hasn't acted up. At least not yet...

Do I or don't I?

The last few days have been pretty rough. By rough I mean not only has my left hip become a complete wreck again, my right one is hurting alot. At first it was just in one area, but now it's moved to the front as well. I am not sure if it's because I am starting to overcompensate with my right for the left, or if it's in the joint. The stress of this is really getting to me in all sorts of ways. Not surprising really.

Friday I took the train out to the island and only had one bag. It wasn't too heavy but I definitely felt it in my hips. Saturday I went to Macy's with my mother for a little while. It's a smaller store than some and we didn't do much walking around in it as I knew exactly where I had to go. By the time I returned home I was a wreck. This was mostly my left at this point. I went to lie down on the couch and couldn't straighten my left leg for the life of me, the pain was intolerable. I iced it for about an hour just to numb the pain. As I had dinner plans that night I conceded and put a lidocaine patch on it. Thankfully that helped get me through dinner.

Sunday I was pretty achy with both hips and just took it easy. That didn't seem to be much help though as by nighttime I was in agony with both. I iced both for a while before I went to bed, and that seemed to help. I am just so frustrated with the lack of progress and the setbacks that it's really affecting me something horrible.

So the question is, do I or don't I go to the MET today. There is a photography exhibit that I've been wanting to see since it opened in September, around the time of my surgery. My parents and I have plans to go see it and they don't want to go if I am suffering, but to be honest I am so frustrated with my life being on hold I just want to do things again and enjoy myself.

Last week I was so excited to feel free and be able to get around without worrying how many steps a place had or how many blocks I might have to walk, and now it feels like it's just been taken away again. I know eventually I will get back to that point, but I am having a bit of a hard time at the moment keeping the faith. So that's where I'm at currently. Not quite defeated but definitely forced back from the front lines by the enemy.

I did it!!!

Yesterday I walked all the way home from my office to my flat! That was the first time since my surgery. It was 1.75 miles!!! I did stop about mid-way to say hello to a friend (and see if I could get a haircut) but other than that, no breaks!
My hips definitely were hurting when I got home, so I iced for about 25 minutes and that seemed to help. I was a still a bit achy at night, but nothing out of control. This morning my muscles are a bit sore, but good sore, not agony-in-pain. Sore like I finally had some sort of workout! The hips are a little tender, but that's to be expected. Don't know if it was the best day to try it, but it was so lovely out last night I just had to have a walk. Suffice to mention I was slightly exuberant last night!
I had PT on Monday, which was the first time in almost two weeks as I'd been away. This past weekend I overexerted myself a bit and was pretty sore. I actually used the lidocaine patches on both hips on Monday. The left was really killing me the most, but I figured if one was good, two was better! It helped me get through the day though. I took them off at PT and felt the difference almost immediately. My PT decided that we would go light on certain exercises and cut out some others. He checked my ROM and said that I'd just irritated the hips, nothing serious. I kind of figured but it was a relief to hear it from a professional.
I should be allowed to start doing some pool exercises now as well, and will try to remember to get a list of things tonight so I can go this weekend and get started. YAY! I never thought I'd be so excited to exercise, but there you have it. Over a year of not being able to and I'm quite looking forward to it.

almost 16 week post - op

How I survived my trip to London.
Firstly, I was a very clever girl and contacted the special assistance desk with the airline. That was the smartest thing I did. Other than the joy of jumping queues and having people drive you around the huge airports, I definitely saved myself a lot of pain.
Secondly, I was a very daft girl. I insisted on going to the airport my "usual" way. That is by taking the E train to Jamaica, then to the Airtrain. My work is only a couple of blocks from the E, and then I thought there was not too much walking between the two, oh how memories fade with age.
By the time I reached the airline, I was hurting. Thankfully the nice lady at the end of the queue saw my crutch and had them open a desk for me and get a wheel chair. Then it was straight through security. And did I mention the bulk head seats? Yes, being a gimp does have it's advantages.
Once I was dropped off at the gate, I went straight to the loo to put on my lidocaine patches. Can I say again how much I bloody love these things? They are one of the most important inventions ever, at least to me. I know some people say they don't work for them but I am blessed that they do most of the time for me.
Unfortunately the flight was delayed so my combination of wine and magic pill took effect too soon and I missed that small window of opportunity to pass out. Well, I could've passed out at the gate, but really did want to get on the plane so forced myself to stay awake. After we finally boarded, I had a hard time getting comfortable. I don't know if it's because I had a mild fibro flare up earlier that week or if the pressure on the planes is getting worse for me, but it was not the most enjoyable flight, especially with barely any sleep.
Thankfully when we arrived I had a nice old English man to push me through immigration and get my case, and he even took me up to my friends car in the car park. I definitely could not have done all of that walking after that flight.
So, the trip was brilliant. To sum up, my hips fared fairly well. I didn't do too much walking but definitely more than I have since my surgery (except for my day at Hampton Court - I pretty much saved myself for that day - and was sore the day after, but not as bad as I'd have thought). I wasn't sure how much the injection had helped at first, but it definitely made a difference whilst I was there. Unfortunately I had the worst time sleeping and the weather in London this time is the worst for me, so that kept the flare up going.
The return trip was much the same as the going, and again, so glad I had the assistance. It truly made a huge difference in a positive way.
I was able to get some sleep the last two nights since I've been back, and that definitely helps. Today for some reason though both hips are not happy campers. Not quite sure as I've not done much walking, but I am off to self medicate with my friend so that should help with the pain and getting to sleep later.

Gimpy's adventure

This past Saturday I had made plans to go to the football match at the Meadowlands with a friend. Just to clarify, I am talking football, proper football - the type you play with your feet, not American "football". Yes, I could call it soccer since that is what they do in America but regardless of all my friends that pick on me, I will still call it football, because that is what it is. I'm a bit stubborn, but that is the least of my worries.

My friend had an extra ticket for the Red Bulls vs. Galaxy match. I've never been to a live, professional match before so I was excited. All that excitement was tempered with the logistics of getting myself there. Once I got into the match I would be seated, but there was to be a tailgate first - that was a whole new experience for me too. My friend assured me there wouldn't be too much walking, but at the tailgate there is really no place to sit. That concerned me more than anything. 3 hours at least of standing made me start to hurt even before it was Saturday.

Friday after work I stopped off at BB&B to see if they had a cheapish folding chair. They didn't. I did find one by the exit, but it was too heavy to carry, so I was still stressing that night. Thankfully Saturday morning I found a folding chair that came in a bag and it was not very heavy. Sold! I felt much better after getting the chair, knowing I could sit as long as I needed.

I then dropped the chair off at my flat and went to go pick up a sandwich. I live in the city, and went to a place one block away figuring it was close, so I wouldn't be stressing my leg out. Not so much! By the time I arrived at the store I was limping. This did not give me faith for the rest of the day at all. I had already put some lidoderm patches on the hip and then iced it when I returned home. I iced and iced to no avail. I was meeting my friend at the subway station near me. It was extremely nice of her to come up there as she lives further downtown, and that was the way we were heading. I find it very difficult to ask for help and feel overwhelmed when it is given. I must say I am very fortunate with my friends that go out of there way for me.

We met up at the station and then went the bar where they were chartering a couple of buses and headed out to the stadium. I won't even enter into how daft our driver was, other than - how hard is it to locate the Lincoln tunnel? Seriously! Signs are EVERYWHERE!!! But I digress.

I was trying to keep a low profile on the bus regarding the hip but once we got off and I was limping it was hard to keep it a secret. There were very nice people whom I had just met that helped me, my chair and food get to the tailgate, which was thankfully not too far from where the bus parked. (Who knew lot 14 was next to lot 18 at the Meadowlands???)

Invariably when one is sitting and everyone else is standing it becomes awkward. First because you feel like you're not hanging out with everyone - you can't go stick a chair in the middle of a group of standing people, and secondly because it becomes an issue to others why you are sitting. Think of it as "inquisitive minds want to know". No matter how long I try to hold off, it always seems to come out that yes, I've a bad hip, and once that is mentioned, all the other questions seem to appear (did you injure it, no, how did it happen then, what type of surgery, etc). I try to take it in stride as it will only get worse once I've had the surgery and get the crutches and wear the brace on. I've been through this before w/ my hand surgeries. You'd truly be amazed at the idiotic things people say when you have a cast on your arm. I suppose they think they're being clever, but trust me, they're not.

Many of the guys at the tailgate were very sweet and helped me carry my items to the stadium. The stadium workers and their rules were another nightmare. I truly don't know where they come up with some of them but they seem ludicrous. They wouldn't let me carry in my chair, that was folded and in a canvas bag, but they let people bring in large drums and various percussion instruments. They claimed the chair could be used as a weapon - how is that different from the large brass instruments? They wouldn't let you bring in water with a cap on it either. (I took the cap off and put it in my pocket, the guard saw me, but I gave him a look like, go on, just try it - and he let me go. But that was because he and his buddy had given us a hard time with the chair, so I think he realised I was at the end of my tether.) My fabulous friend went all the way over to another gate and checked the chair for me. If we had to leave it out there it wouldn't have been the worst thing, but I greatly appreciate her doing that. Not only did she take the chair, she did not let me go with her. She had one of her friends take me inside, and then after the game she went to pick up the chair, again sans me, and had another friend make sure I made it to the bus. I am usually the super-organised-never-gets-lost girl, but when you feel like crap and are a gimp, it's amazing how much it lowers your self-esteem, confidence and the sort.

In closing I am glad I was able to go to the game, it was a lot of fun, and I hope to go to more when I'm no longer a gimp (hopefully that will not be too far off, please G-d!) But I also want to thank my friend and all of her friends for helping me make it through the day's events. I could not have done it alone.

two steps forward, one step back

Dr. Kelly and the pt's said I must keep my strength up, it's v. important before surgery, especially since I was so weak when I first started back in December. So after PT yesterday, I was feeling ok. Went back to work, a touch sore, but was determined to go to the pool. It's been raining a lot lately after work so haven't been able to recently. I have a whole routine I do in the pool to strengthen my legs. Nothing too intense mind you, but enough to make me feel like I am doing some strengthening. I guess it was too much though.
I woke this am and was fine, at first. But within a few minutes my hip started to hurt like hell. And I hadn't even left the flat yet! So I am a limpy person again today. Hopefully it will start to feel better soon, otherwise I may just have to resort to a lovely lidoderm patch and see if that works!
Nothing like being caught in a catch 22!